I’m not talking about you. I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about all of us when I say that anger, frustration, disappointment and pain are often derived from feeling a lack of love.

We all want to be loved, unconditionally. We also want to be valued and supported in all of our relationships, personal and professional.

So why is it that we fail to deliver to others what we expect for ourselves?

Let’s think about this for a minute. This is something that merits at least a few moments of contemplation. If I know what I want and what feels good to me, why can’t I give those same things to the people I care about?

This is a question that recently came to mind when a loved-one and I both confided that we don’t feel as loved as we would like. We both admitted that the mutual feeling of lack of care and understanding between us was creating a seemingly insurmountable problem, and deep pain.

Sadly, at some point each of us will feel unloved, undervalued or unsupported to the point of pain.

So what’s going on here? We’re all adults, we know better. Well, there is so much going on here.

As we sift through our lives we find that there are innumerable traumas of minor to major proportion that have scarred our hearts. These traumas create boundaries, imbalance, confusion and an inner dialogue of fear.

Most importantly these traumas cause us to feel separated from others out of self-protection. This separation creates an inner-focus called the ego. The ego is the mask we wear to the world and it creates outward behaviors that try to control our image and minimize our pain.

Unfortunately, the ego isn’t the smartest part of us. It defaults to power plays and defensiveness, neither of which are founded in love.

Therefore, it’s the ego that wraps all of those traumas and scars around our hearts, constricting our ability to share the love we hold inside.

By its very nature, the ego imprisons our natural tendency to give love.

But hang in there folks because there is help at hand. We can stop the cycle of pain we cause each-other by giving our own hearts a jail-break.

When you’re feeling particularly vulnerable or unloved, take a moment and get out and enjoy nature. Even if it’s your neighborhood park, just get out there, reconnect with mother earth and zone out on the beauty that surrounds you.

This simple act can have profound results because taking the time to truly look at the beauty of nature you gives your ego a well-needed time out. It also gives your overworked brain the chance to decompress and de-stress. You’ll immediately feel better and you might even feel a little warmer and fuzzier than usual. That’s your heart breaking out of jail.

Being in nature is one avenue to shutting down the ego. This can also be achieved through meditation or simply sitting in silence until your brain quiets down. You will feel your heart open as your thoughts subside.

When you shut down the ego, love will flow.

Since we all struggle to feel loved it’s important to make a habit of finding quiet moments for yourself. You’ll be surprised at how powerfully refreshing and soulful these moments can be.

Once you free your heart you will find that all the love you need is already inside you.

Now that you feel this abundance of love in your heart, why not give some of it away.

Originally published at jeligavric.com