I have always known I was going to be a mother. It was such a deep knowing that the thought of not having kids at some point was simply not an option. That is how connected I was to that frequency. It was almost like being a mother was the one aspect of the life my soul chose before this incarnation that I remembered choosing. Thankfully, a year ago, this knowing manifested as a healthy baby girl who we named Riley Grace. Because I always wanted to be a mom and knew in my heart I was built for motherhood, the minute I gave birth I felt a contentment I had never known before.  Well, that’s a lie.  The first few weeks of motherhood were a total blur and an emotional roller coaster, so I didn’t really feel that blissful contentment until a few months into it when I began to surrender to all the uncertainty. I surrendered to the fact that I would never know everything I wanted to know about each developmental phase that was rapidly flying by; that it was impossible to get it perfect; and that all I could do was do my best and follow my instincts.  I leaned into the fact that humans are resilient and if I do my best, take care of myself too, and keep connecting to my intuition on the daily, life will keep nudging me in the right direction and it would be very hard to screw Riley up beyond repair.

I feel like the first few months of new motherhood is reflective of this CoVid-19 roller coaster we have all been on the past few months. The first few weeks of the pandemic were chock full of panic, fear, conflicting information overload, and scrambling to survive. The panic spread faster than the virus itself and unfounded protocols were adopted all over the world.  My instinct from the beginning was that something didn’t feel right and the way we were responding seemed incongruent with the actual threat.  But at the time, I just didn’t have the details or science to explain what my inner knowing kept whispering to me.

After a few weeks of sheltering in place, the panic diminished, and we found a sort of rhythm. We started to reflect on what we had prioritized in our lives pre-pandemic and looked for the silver lining and opportunity in the global pause.  I also started to try and find explanations that affirmed my inner knowing that something was “off” but quickly became overwhelmed with all of the conspiracy theories, divisive politicking, corruption of our cornerstone societal structures, and conflicting “respectable” sources. It was all too much to distill and figure out so I found myself surrendering to the uncertainty much like I did in the early days of new mom-hood.  I let go and decided to just do my best with the opportunity, follow my instincts, and lean into the fact that humans and nature are resilient. 

Last week I had a conversation with HEAL expert Michael B. Beckwith on Instagram LIVE and his biggest takeaway message was that LIFE WINS. “It may take some time and we may go through some dark nights of the soul,” he said, “but LIFE WINS”.  This resonated as TRUE and helped me breathe easier knowing that as more people wake up on an individual level, the faster the consciousness of the collective will shift, and the corruption and unsustainable structures in our society will be replaced by new, life-affirming, cooperative, sustainable ones.   It felt much more doable to just work on my own consciousness and awakening, then solve all the world’s problems in my head.  Ghandi said it best: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Then, last night on my first Mother’s Day as a momma, I watched an interview on YouTube with Zach Bush, MD and Del Bigtree of Highwire.  It was 82 minutes long and was the affirmation of my inner knowing that I had been searching for.  I am sure not everything he says will prove to be true. He admitted himself that there is still much to learn, but he touched upon the intelligence and adaptivity of Mother Nature, and connected the expression of CoVid19 to the toxicity that we humans have inflicted upon the planet and ourselves.  His explanation and the articles, stats, and scientific papers that supported it resonated with me more than anything else I had seen or heard. 

We are connected to this planet, to LIFE, through our microbiome, which includes the virome. Viruses, microbes, parasites etc., are not the enemy, but rather messengers. The toxicity from pesticides, unsustainable factory farming and agriculture, air and water pollution, and pharmaceutical products are distorting this connection to life. As a result, our loving Mother Nature is adapting to re-establish the health and bio-diversity of our planet’s ecosystem. Beyond sharing his expertise on the microbiome and nature’s adaptive behavior, Dr. Zach Bush explains why different populations around the globe were hit harder than others and why putting severe CoVid-19 cases on ventilators is a not the best course of treatment.  Now as a caveat, I am not a doctor, nor am I in the Er’s, and I have the utmost respect for the beautiful intentions of doctors who are doing their best to take all the science available into account to save lives. By me resonating with this interview I am not blaming or shaming anyone that is out there helping, serving, and doing their best within a broken system to save lives. I just believe it is a fascinating interview and I encourage anyone who is interested in the environment and their health to watch it in it’s entirety.  

People keep inquiring to know my take on the coronavirus pandemic and given my background, spiritual beliefs, and all my HEAL research, I find most of Dr. Zach Bush’s perspective to be in alignment with my own. I am not here to convince anyone that my opinion is right.  I am here to encourage you to reconnect to your own intuition. To tune into your resonance feedback mechanism. The beauty of life is that we don’t all have to resonate to the same truth!  We are a bio-diverse planet and global community, all with our own unique lens, conditioning, and purpose.  If we can tune in to what resonates, we can learn to trust and follow our intuition which serves as our soul’s GPS.    And I would argue that if we are, in fact, tuning into our actual intuition (it takes some practice to decipher ego speak and soul speak), we will eventually all be resonating with beautiful variations of the same divine frequency.   MOTHER NATURE ADAPTS and LIFE WINS.  

Wishing all the incredible Mother’s out there a Happy Mother’s Day.   Your love is your superpower and it makes the world go ‘round.  May we be grateful for the nurturing and immense beauty that Mother Nature provides us everyday and may we return that love to her by becoming more conscious of how we consume, treat the planet, and treat each other.