We all get stuck at times, it’s part of the human condition. Getting stuck is usually tied to fear. As leaders, we may be afraid of bad results, or looking silly, or being judged, or being embarrassed, or of failing. 

You may know the feeling of getting stuck as resistance, a tightening in your gut, a freezing up, a lack of energy moving through you. When you are stuck, you are diminished. You see less, breathe less, and feel less. That damages business productivity, innovation, and morale. 

But “stuck” also tells you opportunity is ahead, just outside our comfort zone. There is much to learn from your resistance – if you’re  willing to go there. Rather than be unconscious of when and why you are stuck, or judge yourself harshly when you get stuck, use the techniques below to move through the resistance safely,  remembering that getting unstuck is always a choice. First consider these five questions to help you tune into your patterns of getting stuck and unstuck.

  • When do you get stuck?
  • Do you quickly recognize when you are stuck?
  • How do your thoughts and actions change when you are stuck? 
  • Do you know how to get unstuck?
  • How does your organization support people to get unstuck?

When you get unstuck you move through the constricting energy of fear into the expansive energy of love, what I call “Amare” (Latin for love). Amare leaders understand that leading with the uplifting and connecting energy of love is much more powerful than leading with fear energy. They actively choose and prioritize love over fear in their businesses and lives. When they do catch themselves getting stuck, they accept it without judgment while also looking for ways to actively get unstuck as soon as possible.

Five Amare Ways to Get Unstuck and Lead Better 

1. Identify the block. Tune into what specifically is holding you back, what your fear or apprehension is about. Imagine what one teeny tiny step beyond the block might look like and feel like. 

2. Befriend it. Getting stuck meets some need, usually related to feeling safe. Acknowledge what need it meets for you, and say “thank you.” Then say “I got this now.” This gratitude will be a springboard to reclaiming your power.

3. Build confidence. Take deep breaths and notice the space, the stillness, between inhaling and exhaling. Each time, imagine yourself smiling as you move into being unstuck and into  whatever is next.

4. Lean into unstuck. From your heart, set the intention to get unstuck and explore new unknown territory while still being safe. Next, visualize yourself taking that first small step and how good it feels. Then do it! 

5. Be an example. As a leader, say out-loud when you are stuck and share your techniques for getting unstuck. Acknowledge people when they get unstuck – and that it’s not always easy.  Celebrate the wonderful wins that getting unstuck enables. 

Getting unstuck is a skill that takes practice. Try the steps above, starting with little things, not huge issues that have kept you stuck for years. Be kind and compassionate to yourself along the way; set yourself up for success

You’ll soon find that when you make the choice to get unstuck in business and life, and you do so, your confidence will increase and it will become second nature. And as a bonus, you’ll get used to operating in the uplifting energy of Amare (love) rather than the diminishing energy of fear, which in turn will bring out the best in you. Will you give yourself – and the world – that gift?

Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote

“When I let go of who I am, I become who I might be!”

―Lao Tzu, ancient Chinese philosopher and author of the Tao Te Ching


Acknowledgement: My thanks to author and teacher davidji for his inspiring meditation on this topic.

Modified from original publication on MosheEngelberg.com

Note: Do you like this article? Every Wednesday, I encourage people with articles like this, to do ONE thing to put the power of love to work in their organization, through my newsletter Amare Wave Wednesday. These consistent actions are collectively growing the wave and making people happier and businesses better. To receive your Amare Wave Wednesday newsletter in your inbox every Wednesday, click here to subscribe.

To learn more about the Amare Way movement and purchase the book, visit www.MosheEngelberg.com