It`s September, which means you have less than four months to start before everyone else does (#New_Year`s_Resolutions_Suck) and make those months count. 

These are my 3 tips for you:

Step #1: Investigate Everything

“Write a little ditty on how you feel about money. Get clear on all your craziness around it because trust me, if you don’t have any money, you definitely have some crazy.” ~ Jen Sincero

If you want to have an awesome new year, you have to investigate everything. Your mind has a reason for everything you do no matter how self-destructive it really is. 

Even your most meaningless, time-wasting behaviors are justified by your mind on a subconscious level. There`s always a pain and/or a reward for gambling, procrastinating, binge eating, not taking risks and not working hard enough. And your job is to investigate and resolve these underlined thoughts so you can take better actions.

Think of your mind as some unique software with your thoughts being the code to it. If those codes have errors then the results will be self-doubt, failure, and helplessness. (Too bad, I know).

The good news? These thoughts are usually trivial and changeable, they just hurt you because they`re complex and too quick to notice. Yet, when you put them on paper, you will have the chance to analyze and change them in a way that will free you. This is why successful people like Serena Williams and Eminem have journals.

According to studies, jotting down your thoughts every day is one of the greatest mood boosters you can have. One study found that veterans who completed four sessions of expressive writing every week —20 minutes each— were able to relieve stress and control anger by just the mere act of journaling.

When you journal, you will begin to see your patterns of limiting beliefs, and coping behaviors, stripping naked in front of you. Which takes us to step #2.

Step#2: Weed these thoughts out

As you begin to examine your thoughts, you will discover hidden patterns you weren`t aware of. Something like:

– You check Facebook when you`re lonely

– You`re anxious to meet new people so you don`t go out as much.

– You yell at your kids to vent out

– You`re afraid if you make money, bad things will happen.

To limit the impact of these negative patterns, you will have to do two things: challenge and switch focus.

A. Challenge them

Release your limiting beliefs by searching for clues that contradict them. You need to think like Aristotle and start asking challenging questions that probe your mind to change the way it thinks. If for instance, you believe more money will make you sad, then you should ask questions like these:

  • What about all the Gates(s), the Mayweather(s), and the Michael Jordan(s) of the world? Are they all miserable?
  • Was there a time when money came to me so easy?
  • Or weren`t their times when I felt proud of myself? etc.

B. Decide to focus on what you can control

As you journal often, you will notice a growing list of worries like,

“Am I good enough?

Will they give me the raise?

What if a prospect didn`t email back?

Will she say yes?”…etc.

I want you to compile them and ask yourself a simple question,

“Is there anything I can really change about this?”

If there`s something you can do, like calling that non-responsive client, then do it. If there isn`t. Then make peace with the fact that you don`t have control over everything in life and be willing to accept what life throws at you. If you develop this ability to differentiate between what you can, and can`t control then life will be much easier, you will find solutions to almost every problem, and you will rarely feel helpless.

Step #3: Seek Clarity & Obsession

“If I had an hour to solve a problem I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.” ~ Albert Einstein

Ever saw a professional coach or player without a game plan?

I bet you didn`t!

To succeed you must have clarity and a plan of action. Even geniuses like Einstein spent more time planning than they spent working. For your life to have a meaning, you need a goal —or better, a vision.

Roger Bannister spent a great portion of his training conditioning his mind that it`s physically possible for someone to run a mile in under four minutes. The more vividly you can picture your goals, the easier achieving them will become.

 Studies have found that ER clinicians increased their efficiency by just mentally rehearsing treating trauma patients whereas basketball players who combined between visualization and physical training did much better than those who only did the later.

So what to do?

Sit down, write a goal and reverse engineer it.

Ask yourself:

If I already have it, what are the actions that got me here?

Then create a plan, and be okay with changing it from time to time.

Once you do this, spend three to five minutes seeing yourself overcoming your fears and obstacles and reaching your goals. Do this every day and be consistent with it. Soon your WHYs will become a huge obsession and you will begin to fall deeply in love with your goals that you think of them every night and day.

You strengthen this obsession even further by reading everything you can about the person you want to become and the things you want to have. If it`s money, then read money books, listen to success podcasts, and get a vision board. 

If it`s fitness; spend time on fitness blogs, learn how to plan your workouts or hang a huge poster of your ideal body like young Arnold Schwarzenegger used to do before his glory days.

Failing to build obsession is usually a sign there`s something standing between you and the right mindset you need to build success. If this happens to you, go back to step #1 and get your head clear about your goals until you reach obsession.

Originally published at