We hear the cliche sayings such as; unforgivable, cut them out your life, forgive but don’t forget. But can sayings like these be productive to us moving forward if we still have that bit of resentment stored in a room within our hearts?

I learned a while ago that forgiveness is a process of growth and freedom from pain that often hinders us from experiencing life in its abundance. It’s not easy to forgive someone for hurting us, or in many cases ourselves for bad choices and decisions, but on the other side of forgiveness is opportunity, new life and freedom to try again. People also say, forgive but distance yourself. Again, the very essence of forgiveness is to let go of the pain and erase the scorecard. This may be easier said than done, but if you don’t say it, you’ll never do it. Some of the most horrible pain we experience are only thoughts of something that has happened in the past. We have to reframe how we look at situations and how we define them. There are lessons we can take from each experience in life both good and bad. It is a flawed perspective to see periods of life as failures, especially as each moment has memories within it that can help us in the future. When we fail to let go of the pain that has been caused by someone else, we hold a weight within our minds that prevents us from moving forward freely. Many times the person we are mad at, has moved on and are living the abundant life that we so desperately need. Forgiveness is to let go and respect yourself enough to not hold onto baggage that serves us nothing but heartache. I think of the scripture where it says; when God forgives us, He throws our sins into the sea of forgetfulness. Wow. Such a great sentiment and example of a new start. We have all made mistakes, yet we have the chance to make it right. My call for you today is to think about who you are holding a grudge against in your life, and be bold enough to forgive them. Do it first in your heart and as your courage grows, make that call. Rekindle that flame, reestablish that friendship, rejuvenate that bond. On the other side of your pain is an opportunity to teach a lesson, free yourself from the dead weight and to live the sentiment that life is truly too short.

Un-forgiveness is like putting a bandaid on a broken leg.

Forgiveness brings closure to open wounds.

This is not how your story ends;

Written By Steve Whyte

Originally published at medium.com