Warning this blog may be too revealing for some. Read at your own risk!

As a little girl, I witnessed the many times my mom would hold a grudge, and I mean that lady could hold a grudge like nobody’s business. I promised myself I would never be that person. That I would just forgive and let go. I felt this way not knowing what the future held for me and how much I would need to forgive. As my mom grew older, I witnessed the softening of her heart in ways that blew me away, and it was then I learned that forgiveness is difficult but required.

Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well!!

Yup you read that right – wish the offender well. Though I have to say when I read that I was taken aback, I realized that if you wanted to be free, you need to wish them well, because then forgiveness well, it wouldn’t be forgiveness, it would just be lip service.

In my life, I’ve had to forgive many people, moments and times…

I forgave my molester – though my heart shutters! I was a child, I learned to forgive in my heart – I learned it was never my fault…NEVER!

I forgave my ex-husband – the brokenness I experienced, emotionally, physically and mentally – I learned I was stronger.

I forgave my friends who judged me so bitterly – I knew that only God knew the truth and in HIS due time the truth would be revealed. I learned to trust.

I forgave my dad – For not allowing us to intervene in my mom’s care and ultimately watching her die. I realized he too was broken.

I forgave my inlaws – for accepting and rejecting and accepting me again. It was a journey of learning who I truly am.

I forgave my husband – for emotional indiscretions – (no no affair) just learning to understand me – and I learned how to better communicate.

I forgave the woman who hurt my son – the experience proved to be the most revealing of our character, and for that, I am grateful. (Blog: Grace Extended for details)

I forgave my son – for the fights and challenges, in it I saw myself and my own shortcomings and learned the meaning of a real apology.

These are just a few instances that come to mind…there are lots more…

You see every day we will come against something that will challenge us and go against everything we believe and, it will anger, hurt and accuse us. BUT, we must forgive. Forgiveness is never for the other, but for YOU...Each time I came across a challenge that blew my socks off I knew it was there to make me stronger. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of these moments broke me. There were days I literally didn’t want to get out of bed, but what good was that going to do. Everyone else is living their lives, and I am balled up in fetal position believing I couldn’t go on. BUT…I got up, took a deep breath and said I’m done. I will not let anyone define who I was intended to be. If you are reading this and think there is no way, no way. Yes, yes there is. I promise you will be all the better. Forgiveness allows the real purpose of your life to be fulfilled. If you are stuck and have not moved forward, check to see who you haven’t forgiven. With forgiveness comes grace, joy, love, laughter, and strength to forgive the next offense, because there will be a next time. Do not allow yourself to be held hostage by what someone else does to you. When you forgive you are free!


Live to your full potential. Forgive in your heart those that have hurt, accused and offended you. Then let it go. Don’t pick it up. Don’t look at it, taste it, dream about it…


“Til Tuesday

Originally published at soulofawoman.blog


  • Annette Ortiz Mata

    Annette Ortiz Mata

    I am a proud Latina. I am Puerto Rican from The Bronx, NY (which makes me a United States Citizen - wink!) My experience being bi-coastal has brought a lot of range to my life and has expanded my vision on how Latinas are perceived on both coasts. With the desire to be informed, educated and entertained, I pursued a career in Communications. I am a graduate of USC Gould School of Law with a Masters in the Study of Law with a certification in Entertainment Law. I am passionate about the truth. I am a news junkie and love to learn something new — Blogger (writer) for Soul of a Woman.blog. I am also the author of "Unpredictable Outcomes - Unmasking my Faith" - www.unpredictableoutcomes.com My hobbies are reading and singing and dancing...I love to laugh out loud. Married to a fantastic man and mother of two incredible sons. Annette Ortiz Mata