Have you ever felt trapped? Trapped in an unbounded loop of thoughts that have just sprung into your life to peel off the peace from every nook of your body, making it restless at uncertain times, just like that with the blows of horrifying and sometimes terrifying imaginations about simple changes in life and sometimes a thousand unanswered questions as to what is going to happen in your near future, or will you able to survive the tornado the society is whirling into your personal life? Well mostly psychologists describe such a repeated feeling of restlessness and unbearable thoughts in a word as simple as depression, which even seems like a pun to most of the NORMAL PEOPLE
And so when depression hit a normal person like me I took it on another level, ’cause I swear I didn’t even know what was happening to me or to my life, it came in multiple horrible shapes firstly in the form of impossibly lower grades in my college, being a topper at school, I never expected low grades in board exams in college (which are real scam lol). It was the first rope that tangled me at the age of 18, the next rope was the marriage proposal for the girl who had a bundle of dreams and the word marriage was not even in her wildest dream. And the icing on the cake became my forlorn writing career that was sinking even before sailing. The social pressure from my far-off family members can’t be neglected as the only thing that I used to hear on any family occasion was “Kiya hua tmhara novel publish hua?”(what happened did your novel got published?), “Career k baray main kiya soucha?” (What did you decide about your career?) Anddd most important mighty stringent gazes of my phuphos (Aunts), from which seeped out the utter condemnation. All this was so much for a teenage girl belonging to a middle-class family, trying to achieve something in life. A newbie to the outer world which was cruel enough to gulp in her dreams and passions.
The number of facade smiles and convos that became a part of me in those times trying to hide my broken life from everyone even from my family, though it was as difficult as fishing a needle from the sea, it was something uncanny to my own jolly personality. A reality that had hit me was that I was just looking for success…
Amidst the hustle what I did not know was my battle wasn’t for my goals or career. Little did I not know that even though doors felt close, there was one door right there for me, there was a scape from all those restless and sleep-deprived nights, there was a silver lining but I couldn’t see it myself because at first, I kept it all to myself, I created four red walls around me, trapped myself in them, thought of ending my life prayed for my natural death, became hopeless. My ship was sinking and it was all that I knew. I decided to battle with the flow just when a voice whispered in the dark, in those storms, someone told me to stop battling. My sister barged into my comfort zone, criticized me, accused me, and made me realize I’m not alone. She introduced me to four magical words. “This too shall pass”. She asked me to leave it all to God, and that if after all my struggles I’m unable to achieve something that I desperately want its only because the things that are happening in my life are for a reason and purely by God, and so God gave me my husband, a wave, who came out of the blue of the night to securely take me to the shore. He told me the exact same thing that everything is temporary, the sorrow, the pain, time never remains the same. And so happened with me. Whenever I’d become sad again, whenever I’d regret something, whenever I’d feel lonely even after having so many people around me who love me truly, I repeat just these four magical words “This too shall pass”, which always help me calm my nerves and ignore all the rants of others, they help me with everything. Whether if my problem is as great as the foam of the sea or if it’s as small as a grain of rice.
And so if you ever feel depressed or if anxiety is trying to gulp you in, repeat to yourself “This too shall pass” “This too shall pass” “This too shall pass” until it enters your soul and rip off the depression from every nook of your soul, it’s such an easy way to rely on God and as you can see the time is changing you’re not the person you were a year back, nothing is permanent, and trust me you won’t ever be disappointed, everything will fall in place soon. Don’t let your thoughts deprive you of the blessings that you’re going to get in the near future, don’t ever lose hope, because “This too shall pass”.