Make time for YOU! When you have little ones, this might be getting out of the house for a long walk or meeting up with a friend for coffee — something simple that reminds you that you are still your own person. As your kids get older, this time might be spent on a favorite hobby or on travel. Taking care of yourself as a whole person means that you can be more present as a parent.
With all that’s going on in our country, our economy, the world, and on social media, it feels like so many of us are under a great deal of stress. Parenting, in particular, can be stress-inducing. We know chronic stress can be as unhealthy as smoking a quarter of a pack a day. It is also challenging to be a present parent when your relationship is under stress. What are stress management strategies that parents use to become “Stress-Proof? What are some great tweaks, hacks, and tips that help reduce or even eliminate stress? In this interview series, we are talking to authors, parenting experts, business and civic leaders, and mental health experts who can share their strategies for reducing or eliminating stress. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Frances Largeman-Roth.
Frances Largeman-Roth, RDN: Nutrition expert and author of several books, including Eating in Color and the forthcoming Everyday Snack Tray (Revell, November 2023).
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to know how you got from “there to here.” Inspire us with your backstory!
When I became a registered dietitian nutritionist, I knew that I eventually wanted to write and have a career in the media. But first I needed real-world experience with patients in a healthcare setting. I worked at a forward-thinking clinic in San Francisco that combined Western and Eastern medicine philosophies. We focused on patients with HIV/AIDS, and it was an intense and educational experience for me. After that, I got a job at the Discovery Channel working on health content before getting my dream job at age 30 as the Food & Nutrition Director for Health magazine. I was there for 8 years and learned a ton, not just about writing, but how a magazine comes to life.
What lessons would you share with yourself if you had the opportunity to meet your younger self?
I would tell my younger self to have patience. I was always chomping at the bit to do more work and take on more responsibility. What I didn’t know is that it would all come together at some point, and I could have taken a step back to have more fun and enjoy the ride.
None of us are able to experience success without support along the way. Is there a particular person for whom you are grateful because of the support they gave you to grow you from “there to here?” Can you share that story and why you are grateful for them?
I will forever be grateful to my friend and colleague, Ellie Krieger. Ellie is a trailblazer in the world of nutrition and wellness and was the very first nutritionist to have a show on the Food Network. Ellie shared lots of insights and learnings with me and without her help, it would have been much trickier to make my way in this business.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think it might help people?
I’m working on my upcoming cookbook, Everyday Snack Tray: Easy Ideas and Recipes for Boards that Nourish for Moments Big and Small. This book aims to help families celebrate more moments in life and stay present in their everyday lives. Working parents are stressed out, yet they want to make things special for their kids. The ideas in Everyday Snack Tray are easy to execute, but they’re super fun, helping to make any holiday or weeknight something memorable. Additionally, I am working with Natrol, America’s #1 drug-free sleep aid brand^, to help educate folks on the importance of getting a restful night’s sleep.
Ok, thank you for sharing your inspired life. Let’s now talk about stress. How would you define stress?
We all experience some amount of stress. There is the everyday kind of stress that is caused by deadlines, traffic, crying kids, etc. It’s not fun, but there’s a start and an endpoint to it. Chronic stress is when an individual is experiencing low-level stress daily. This can be due to financial issues, relationship problems, an unfulfilling job, or another situation that creates a sense of insecurity and continuing loop of stress.
In the Western world, humans typically have their shelter, food, and survival needs met. So what has led to this chronic stress? Why are so many of us always stressed out?
There are many issues that are contributing to high levels of stress right now, including economic uncertainty and inflation rates, climate change, war, family dynamics, and for many younger people, a feeling that they may never be able to achieve their goals. Research has also shown that people in their middle years seem to have more demands and pressures placed on them. For example, people in midlife (ages 45–65) are often now responsible for helping their adult children transition and getting them started in adulthood, while also taking care of aging parents.
What are some of the physical manifestations of being under a lot of stress? How does the human body react to stress?
Chronic stress can manifest itself in several ways. Some of the common ones are insomnia, physical aches, and pains, changes in mood and in appetite, and increased dependence on alcohol and drugs. Hypertension (high blood pressure), depression, addiction, heart disease, and type 2 diabetes are also linked to chronic stress.
Is there a difference between being in a short-term stressful situation versus an ongoing stress? Are there long-term ramifications to living in a constant state of stress?
Yes — stressful situations come up all the time — it’s life! Perhaps your child gets hurt or you’re in a minor car accident. That’s stressful, but if your child recovers and no one is seriously hurt in the accident, you can move on from that stressful event. When you’re constantly living in that state of stress, it impacts your ability to work and be in relationships. Also, that type of stress takes a toll on your health, from the quality of sleep to heart disease and other health conditions with long-lasting negative impacts.
Let’s now focus more on the stress of parenting. This feels intuitive, but it is helpful to spell it out to address it. Can you help articulate why being a parent can be so stressful?
Now that I’ve been a parent for over 13 years, I understand the saying, “Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.” When you have a baby or a young child, you’re most concerned about their health and whether they’re developing properly. It’s stressful, but it’s certainly different from parenting a teen or tween who may be talking back to you, arguing with you, or causing problems at school. As a parent, you internalize everything your child does and tend to feel like it reflects on you as a person. So, if they’re not getting good grades or making poor decisions, it feels like YOU did something wrong. You can think you didn’t give enough time or love when the reality is that kids become young people who can make their own choices, and unfortunately, they don’t always do the right thing, but that’s part of growing up and learning. That doesn’t mean that you didn’t provide them with the foundation to do the right thing — it just means that they’re working through things and becoming their own person. Each child will have challenges. I have three kids and they’re all different and challenge me in different ways. Ultimately, causing stress in my life in multiple ways!
Here is the main question of our interview: Can you share with our readers your “5 stress management strategies that parents can use to remove some of the stress of parenting?” Please share a story or example for each.
Make time for YOU! When you have little ones, this might be getting out of the house for a long walk or meeting up with a friend for coffee — something simple that reminds you that you are still your own person. As your kids get older, this time might be spent on a favorite hobby or on travel. Taking care of yourself as a whole person means that you can be more present as a parent.
Laughter is a necessity: When my oldest daughter was about three and a half and my son Leo was two, I went away for the weekend. When I returned, my husband had barricaded himself and the kids behind a kitchen island so that the kids couldn’t get into more trouble. Apparently, my son had opened a kitchen cabinet and poured out an entire container of flour all over the floor! My husband was completely exhausted, but when I walked in and started laughing, he was able to let go of the stress of being with the kids and see the humor in the situation. You need to find the humor in parenting!
Sleep is sacred: Anyone who has ever had a newborn knows how debilitating lack of sleep can be. I quickly learned how important sleep is and how napping can be a magical fix to a poor night’s sleep. It’s amazing how much better you can feel even just after a 30-minute nap. These days I do everything I can to ensure I get good sleep. Which means I prioritize the best sheets, sticking to a sleep schedule, and keep my room at an ideal temperature for me to get a good night’s sleep. I also incorporate Natrol Sleep+ Calm gummies. The product combines 6 mg of melatonin, per dose, with calming L-Theanine and a botanical blend of chamomile, lavender, and lemon balm to help ease an active mind and support a better night’s sleep.† These non-GMO and vegetarian gummies are great for travel, too.
Movement is medicine: Everyone has heard that exercise is beneficial for overall health and wellness, but it can still be tough to make it a priority. Getting that 20 to 30 minutes of movement on most days is essential to help me reduce stress and have the energy to run my own business and be a mom to three. The benefits of exercise are myriad, but in addition to it being great for your heart and your blood glucose, exercise also helps improve your mood and get better sleep.
I was seven weeks pregnant with Leo when my mother died of cancer. Part of me wanted to sink into darkness, but I knew I couldn’t do that to the baby that was growing inside me, so I joined a gym close to my office in Manhattan and put three workouts on my calendar each week. It was tough to make it to those classes, but I stuck with it, and it helped my mood immensely. I was still grieving, but I was able to see that there would be light again.
Hit the Easy Button: I remember telling a friend that I was having horrible headaches. She reminded me that I had had three kids within five years and my body had gone through a lot. As a nutritionist I always wanted to have nutritious meals on the table for my kids, but it can feel like a lot of work to do that each day. This friend reminded me that it’s OK to hit the easy button sometimes and order a pizza. Her advice really stayed with me, and I hope it helps other parents too. Not every day or meal needs to be perfect. Sometimes it’s just enough that everyone gets fed and goes to sleep on time(ish)!
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have inspired you to live with more joy in life?
My biggest way to destress and have more joy each day is through exercise. I’ve always been a runner, but lately, I’ve also gotten into indoor cycling to help inspire me, pump up those endorphins, and even give me a good laugh, too! I’ve also been bringing yoga back into my life, which I love.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I’ve thought about starting a movement called “Let’s be Grandmas!” As someone who had kids a bit later in life, and as someone who lost a parent when I was 12, I really want women (and men) to focus on their long-term health. While a diet might help them lose 10 pounds before a vacation, it’s those consistent habits — exercising on most days, eating mostly plants, limiting alcohol consumption, focusing on stress management — that will help them live to be around for their children and grandchildren later in life.
What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?
I would love for readers to check out the delicious, nourishing recipes on my website and follow me on Instagram. Thank you!
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.