“Resilience isn’t about pretending everything is fine—it’s about learning how to move forward with strength, even when things aren’t. When we model that for our children, we give them the greatest gift: the ability to grow through what they go through.”
– Lucy Airs
Separation is one of life’s most emotionally taxing experiences—especially for mothers who are left to juggle parenting, work, and healing, all while navigating an uncertain future. For many women, the period following a separation can feel isolating and overwhelming, with few resources tailored to their unique emotional and practical needs. Lucy Airs, a seasoned leadership coach with over two decades of experience, has dedicated her career to changing that. Drawing from her deep expertise in psychology, positive transformation, and resilience coaching, Lucy has developed a specialized program that helps separated mothers not only survive but thrive through one of the most difficult chapters of their lives.
In this interview, Lucy sits down with Stacey Chillemi to discuss the inspiration behind her work, the power of emotional intelligence, and how intentional healing can impact both women and their children for generations. With compassion, clarity, and a science-backed approach, Lucy shares practical strategies for building resilience, redefining identity, and embracing post-traumatic growth. Her insights offer a refreshing perspective for anyone navigating personal upheaval—reminding us that even in life’s most challenging moments, there’s room to lead, rebuild, and grow.
Thank you so much for joining us, Lucy! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your backstory?
Absolutely, and thank you for having me—I’m delighted to be here. My background began in psychology, as I’ve always been drawn to understanding people and supporting them through life’s challenges. I soon transitioned into coaching because I was inspired by its forward-focused approach. Over the past 20 years, I’ve worked as a leadership coach, primarily with executives and senior leaders, helping them develop emotional intelligence, resilience, and psychological safety—areas I also research. Throughout this work, I encountered many women who were not only leaders in their professional lives but also going through significant personal struggles, particularly separation while raising children. These women inspired me to create a program that supports mothers in navigating the emotional and practical complexities of separation. It’s a space where they can regain their sense of self, develop resilience, and design a future that aligns with their values and needs—not just for themselves, but for their children as well.
What inspired you to focus so deeply on separated mothers?
It was a mix of what I witnessed professionally and what I understood on a personal level. Working with women who were holding together demanding jobs and painful personal transitions made me realize how underserved this group was. They were successful in so many ways, yet emotionally overwhelmed and often isolated. I saw firsthand how much support they needed—not just career-wise but in rebuilding their lives—and how their healing affected their children in deeply positive ways. That ripple effect was powerful. The more I worked with them, the more I felt drawn to address their specific needs. This work became about empowering women to not just survive a separation but grow from it, and to do so in a way that creates a healthy legacy for their children. It’s not just about fixing what’s broken—it’s about building something stronger.
Can you elaborate on how you approach resilience and emotional intelligence in your work?
Resilience, as I see it through the lens of positive psychology, is about more than just bouncing back—it’s about bouncing forward. It’s about transformation through adversity. I guide women in developing emotional intelligence so they can recognize their emotions, manage them effectively, and make thoughtful decisions that align with their goals and values. Everything I do is evidence-based but tailored to fit into the realities of their lives. Most of the women I work with are juggling so many responsibilities that they don’t have the luxury of theoretical exercises. So we take proven tools and adapt them—bite-sized strategies that fit their time, energy, and needs. Over time, these small changes help rebuild confidence, establish new habits, and open the door to deeper, more sustainable growth.
When women feel “stuck” in separation limbo, what guidance do you offer them?
I often begin by validating their experience and reframing how they see themselves. Any woman managing life, children, emotions, and separation is already high-achieving in my eyes. When someone feels stuck, I ask them to imagine their child in the future describing a relationship just like theirs—what advice would they give? That perspective often leads to clarity. As mothers, we’ll endure a lot for ourselves, but when we realize the impact our choices have on our children, it can spark a shift. That question helps them recognize that staying in an unhealthy pattern isn’t just affecting them—it’s teaching their children what to accept in relationships. When change feels too hard to make for yourself, making it for your child can provide the motivation to take the next step.
Do you find that children often mimic their parents’ relationship patterns?
Very often, yes. Children are incredibly observant, and they model what they see. They internalize the dynamics of their parents’ relationships—the healthy and the unhealthy. If they grow up watching conflict, avoidance, or emotional suppression, they may carry those patterns into their own adult relationships without even realizing it. That’s why I see this work as so crucial. When a mother makes conscious choices to grow and heal, she’s also changing the narrative for her children. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about showing them how to face challenges, how to regulate emotions, and how to build respectful and supportive relationships. That modeling can have a lifelong impact.
How do you help women who are in denial about their situation?
Denial is often a form of self-protection, and it usually stems from grief and fear. One of the most painful parts of separation is letting go of the future you envisioned. That loss can be hard to name, let alone accept. For many, the thought of starting over feels like stepping into a void. What I do is help them create structure and support so the next step doesn’t feel so overwhelming. We use small mental exercises, like imagining “if-then” scenarios, to ease into acceptance—“If this happens, then I could do this…” It gives them a way to explore possibilities without fully committing to change yet. As they gain clarity and build emotional safety, the denial starts to soften, and they can begin to move forward at their own pace.
What role do group sessions play in your program?
Group sessions provide community, understanding, and a powerful sense of not being alone. When women hear others articulate what they themselves have been feeling, it can be a huge relief. There’s a collective strength in shared experience. But I’m very intentional about the energy of the group—it’s not a place for venting or spiraling. While we acknowledge the pain, the focus is always on growth, support, and learning. The group is structured and guided so that everyone contributes to a positive, forward-moving space. We talk about what works, we share strategies, and we support each other through challenges. It’s incredibly healing to both receive and give support in that kind of environment.
Many people suggest self-care like bubble baths and massages, but what do you recommend for time-strapped moms?
That kind of self-care can feel impossible—or even irrelevant—when you’re in the middle of emotional upheaval. Most of the women I work with are already stretched thin. So I focus on practical, personalized strategies that meet them where they are. Some might benefit from quick journaling prompts. Others prefer sending voice notes or engaging in creative outlets like drawing. I work with each person to figure out what fits into their life and genuinely nourishes them. It’s about small, consistent actions that help them feel more grounded and emotionally balanced—without demanding extra time or money they don’t have.
How do you address co-parenting in your program?
Co-parenting is one of the biggest challenges after separation. There’s so much emotion involved, and the stakes feel incredibly high because children are at the center. I help mothers develop effective communication strategies that reduce conflict and focus on the child’s best interest. We work on managing emotional triggers, setting boundaries, and creating consistency. If co-parenting isn’t possible—because sometimes it just isn’t—we look at how to build other forms of support and maintain stability for the child. The goal is always to create a safe, emotionally healthy environment, no matter what the parenting structure looks like.
What is step one for someone who wants to begin healing?
The first step is reconnecting with yourself—your values, your strengths, and your identity outside of the relationship. Often, women have lost touch with who they are, especially after years of prioritizing others. I encourage them to remember what made them feel confident or joyful in the past, even as children. It’s not about going backward—it’s about reclaiming the parts of themselves that still exist and using them as a foundation for the future. Acceptance is also key, but it doesn’t have to be immediate. Sometimes we start with, “This might be what it is,” and that gentle shift can lead to deeper acknowledgment. From there, we begin introducing small habits and practices that build clarity, confidence, and momentum.
Can you explain what post-traumatic growth is?
Post-traumatic growth is the idea that, after a deeply challenging experience, people can emerge stronger, more resilient, and more connected to what truly matters. It’s not automatic or guaranteed, but it is possible—and it’s something we can actively prepare for. The research shows that people who build resilience are more likely to experience growth after trauma. That’s why so much of my work focuses on developing those skills. We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. And when we respond with awareness, intention, and emotional strength, we create the potential for profound transformation—not just for ourselves, but for our children as well.
How does your program differ from therapy or traditional coaching?
My program is a unique hybrid. It blends one-on-one coaching, group support, and personalized daily practices. It’s not therapy—though it can be therapeutic—and it’s not a typical coaching model either. It’s carefully designed for the specific emotional and logistical challenges that come with separation and single motherhood. The structure allows for both individual attention and communal support. We cover everything from communication and emotional regulation to strengths, goals, and identity. It’s about rewiring thought patterns, building new habits, and cultivating flexibility in how we see and navigate life.
What’s included in your 12-week Separated Mothers Program?
The program includes three private coaching sessions—one at the beginning, one in the middle, and one at the end—so that we can deeply tailor the journey. There are weekly group sessions where we explore key topics and share insights in a safe, guided space. And there are personalized daily practices based on each participant’s preferences. Some people write, others prefer voice notes, and some express themselves visually. It’s all designed to help embed new habits into everyday life so that they become second nature. We focus on six key areas: emotional regulation, communication, personal strengths, relationships, goal-setting, and perspective. Everything we do is grounded in neuroscience and positive psychology—it’s about creating lasting change through small, manageable actions.
What if someone is curious but hesitant to commit?
I completely understand. That’s why I offer what I call a “breakthrough session”—a free, no-obligation coaching session where they can experience the work firsthand. I don’t follow up afterward—they reach out if and when they’re ready. I also offer a 10-day personalized resilience plan. People fill out a short form, and I design a mini-program tailored to their situation. It’s a gentle way to explore the process and see if it resonates. No pressure—just support.
Why is modeling resilience for children so important?
Because it’s the most powerful gift we can give them. Life will challenge them, no matter what we do. If they’ve seen us face adversity with strength, grace, and honesty, they’ll carry those lessons with them. We may not be able to shield them from hardship, but we can show them how to meet it—and that modeling stays with them forever. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being real, and showing them what it looks like to keep going, to adapt, and to grow. Even if you can’t do it for yourself yet, do it for them. They’re watching, and they’re learning.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
I have a website dedicated to the Separated Mothers Program where people can find all the details, reach out for a breakthrough session, or request the personalized resilience plan. I also share my contact information—including email and WhatsApp—because I know people have different preferences, especially across time zones. Everything is designed to be accessible and supportive. Whether someone wants to dive into a program or just take one small step, I’m here to help them move forward.
This has been such an insightful conversation. I truly admire the work you’re doing. Your commitment to helping separated mothers rebuild their lives and model strength for their children is inspiring.
Thank you so much, Stacey. I’ve really appreciated the opportunity to talk about this work and connect with your audience. These conversations are so meaningful, and I’m grateful for the chance to share.
