We’re living in a time where comfort is celebrated—but what if the key to your success, fulfillment, and growth is the exact opposite?
In this excerpt from my book The Bravery Effect, I share the story that changed everything for me—and the lesson I’ve seen transform lives across military, corporate, and personal arenas:
Discomfort isn’t the enemy. It’s the doorway.
If you had asked a few of my commanding officers, they would have told you that my journey to become a United States Marine was destined to fail.
In fact, they told me.
Within 24 hours of arriving at the Navy’s Reserve Officers Training program at just eighteen years old, one of them looked me straight in the eye and said, “You don’t have what it takes.”
To be fair, this wasn’t an unreasonable statement. I’d shown up dressed like I was headed to a sorority mixer—hot pink silk shorts, a matching top, high heels, and long, manicured nails painted to match. I thought I was projecting confidence. I looked like a stunt double for Legally Blonde.
That moment could have crushed me. Instead, I made a decision: I would prove them wrong.
Within hours, I had bitten off my nails, traded my heels for combat boots, and began one of the most difficult and transformative journeys of my life. I learned the power of grit, discipline, and choosing discomfort. I pushed past what I thought was possible. And by my senior year, I was leading my NROTC battalion of 200 students.
It turns out, everything you want in life—success, fulfillment, happiness—lives on the other side of hard.
To be successful, you need to grow.
To grow, you need to face discomfort.
That’s the bravery effect.
It wasn’t until years later, while studying positive psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, that I saw the science behind what I had lived. Discomfort and growth aren’t just connected in elite environments like the military—they are universal. Growth requires discomfort. It is a fundamental truth of life.
But here’s the problem: We live in a culture that avoids discomfort at all costs.
Well-meaning leaders remove challenges in the name of happiness.
Parents shield kids from failure to protect their self-esteem.
We confuse comfort with well-being—and it’s making us weaker.
Growth happens outside your comfort zone.
If you never leave it, you miss out on one of the greatest human abilities: to face adversity and adapt.
Think of it like training your body. If you never lift weights, your muscles weaken. If you never push your lungs, your stamina shrinks. The same is true for your mental and emotional resilience. The less you challenge yourself, the less capable you become. The more you avoid discomfort, the tighter the trap becomes—and the harder it is to break free.
The solution isn’t to avoid fear or wait until you feel confident.
The solution is to build the habit of being brave.
Bravery isn’t about dramatic, once-in-a-lifetime acts.
It’s not about running into burning buildings or making headline-worthy moves.
Bravery is built in the small, quiet moments—when you speak up in a meeting, ask for help, go for the opportunity that scares you, or do the thing that matters even when you feel unready.
That’s the kind of bravery that changes everything.
That’s the habit that transforms lives.
Bravery isn’t just for extreme moments. It’s a skill you can train—one small, uncomfortable step at a time. Like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets. You just have to put in the reps. And when you do, you elevate your confidence, expand your capacity, and start living life to the fullest. That is the Bravery Effect.
Excerpted from The Bravery Effect: A Parable Teaching the Science of Conquering Fear, Achieving More, and Living Life to the Fullest – August 26, 2025. Grab your copy here or take the free Bravery Assessment at www.JillSchulman.com.