The regret of wasted time…
Here are a few of the things I regret on my way to recovery:
The years wasted on feeling like shit from drinking. I regret wasting time getting wasted! My God, the hangovers. You know the ones that consist of a pounding headache, a queasy stomach and the shakes. I’m grateful that the further away I get from my last drink, the more faded the memory of those brutal hangovers are. I remember having them, but I can’t feel them any longer.
The regret of bad behavior…
I regret a lot of my behavior when I was drinking. There are a few memories, especially during my last drinking years, that have caused me a great deal of shame and regret, most of which will never be erased. Some of these memories have helped keep me sober for over ten years. I don’t want to forget the past, but I certainly don’t need to beat myself up with it either.
The regret of waiting too long…
Here’s the BIG one: I regret not asking for help before I did. I knew I had a problem and I was terrified to do anything about it. There’s a saying “It takes what it takes.” So, I let myself off the hook for not knowing what I didn’t know. I’m grateful I woke up when I did.
I’m one of the lucky ones…
I’m one of the lucky people in recovery whose story does not include relapse. I’m more surprised than anyone that this is the case. I just never believed that relapse was an option for me. For that I am so very grateful.
I’m also very lucky to have had a friend and neighbor in recovery and grateful that I wasn’t afraid to ask her for help when the shit hit the fan.
Strength and courage to live life differently…
It takes guts to get sober. This is not for sissies. It’s very simple but it’s not easy. I don’t say this to scare anyone, but this is a choice to live life differently than before. Changing “playgrounds and playmates” usually is part of the process. It sure was for me. Getting and staying sober is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I have found a freedom I never thought possible.
Until next time,
xoxo
Nancy