Time—it’s the one resource we can’t replenish, and many of us feel like there’s never enough of it. In our conversation, Dr. Cassie Holmes—award-winning teacher, researcher on time and happiness, and bestselling author of Happier Hour—revealed how we can shift from feeling time-poor to living time-rich. Rather than focusing on having more time, she encourages us to prioritize spending it wisely. Her research offers actionable strategies to reclaim joy and purpose in our daily lives.
For the full interview, listen to our Evolving with Gratitude’ podcast episode. Also available on your favorite podcast platform.
The Weight of Time Poverty
Holmes defines time poverty as “that acute feeling of having too much to do and not enough time to do it.” It’s a common experience that affects our stress levels, health, relationships, and overall happiness. Women, particularly those with young children and full-time jobs, are more likely to feel this way. However, Holmes cautions against the belief that simply having more free time is the solution.
Her research, conducted with Hal Hershfield and Marissa Sharif, reveals that happiness follows an inverted U-shape when it comes to discretionary time. Having less than two hours of free time a day can lead to stress and exhaustion, but having more than five hours can diminish happiness due to a lack of productivity and purpose. The sweet spot lies in how we use the time we have, not how much we have.
The real answer is not about being time rich;
it is about making the time you have rich.
–Cassie Holmes
A Personal Audit of Time
One of the most impactful strategies Holmes shares is time tracking. “Over the course of a week, write down for each half hour what you did and rate how it made you feel on a scale of 1 to 10,” she advises. This exercise reveals not only where our time goes but also which activities truly bring us joy and fulfillment.
For many of us, the results are surprising. Holmes recounts a student who thought watching TV at the end of the day was their “reward,” only to discover that while the first half hour felt enjoyable, extended hours left them feeling worse. On the flip side, dreaded activities like exercise often yielded high satisfaction ratings.
The Time Jar Analogy
Holmes emphasizes the importance of prioritizing “golf balls”—the most meaningful activities in your life—over less significant tasks. Borrowing from the “time jar” analogy, she explains:
- Imagine your time as a jar.
- Golf balls represent what truly matters—family, health, meaningful work.
- Pebbles are secondary priorities, like chores.
- Sand is everything else that fills your day.
If you start with sand, the golf balls won’t fit. But when you prioritize the golf balls, everything else falls into place.
“If we let our time get filled, it will absolutely get filled, but not necessarily with the things that matter to us,” Holmes notes. We need to put our golf balls in first.
Savoring the Moment and Reflecting on Time Left
Holmes highlights the psychological tendency of hedonic adaptation, where we get used to life’s joys over time, causing them to lose their impact. To counter this, she suggests recognizing the finite nature of these moments. For instance, she calculated that she has only 36% of her cherished coffee dates with her nine-year-old daughter left before life inevitably changes their routine.
This realization, while initially disheartening, can be empowering. “It makes us prioritize that time, noting that there’s only so many left. Even when we’re feeling super busy and time poor, it makes us make the time,” Holmes explains. By calculating the percentage of time left for meaningful activities—such as family traditions or spending time with loved ones—we gain a clearer perspective on what matters most.
As Holmes notes, “This shift in mindset makes us make the most of the time.” It also changes how we engage during these moments, encouraging us to savor them fully and free from distractions. Instead of rushing through or multitasking, we immerse ourselves in the experience, making these moments richer and more memorable.
The Power of Purpose
Understanding your purpose is another cornerstone of spending time meaningfully. Holmes recommends the “Five Whys” exercise, a simple yet powerful way to uncover the deeper reasons behind your actions. Follow these steps:
- Step 1: Identify What You Do
Write down what you do, either professionally or personally. Be specific. For example, “I manage a team at work” or “I volunteer at my child’s school.” - Step 2: Ask Yourself Why You Do It
Reflect on your initial response. Why are you engaged in this activity or role? Your answer might be practical, such as “To earn a living” or “To stay connected with my community.” - Step 3: Ask Why Again
For the reason you just gave, ask yourself why it’s important. For example, if you said, “To earn a living,” ask why earning a living matters to you. Your response might be, “To provide opportunities for my kids.” If you said, “To stay connected with my community,” you might answer, “Because it gives me a sense of belonging.” - Step 4: Go Deeper with Each Why
Continue asking “Why?” for each successive answer, drilling deeper into your motivations. By the third or fourth why, your answers often move from surface-level reasons to personal values or emotional drivers. - Step 5: Reach the Core of Your Purpose
By the fifth why, you’ll likely uncover a deeply meaningful insight about what drives you. For instance, “To make a positive impact on future generations” or “To feel like I’m contributing to the well-being of others.”
Holmes explains that this clarity acts as a filter for decision-making. “When you’re clear on your own purpose, not only do I use that as a filter of how to spend my time, the particular activities to say yes or no to, but also it makes it really satisfying, even if it’s a sort of seemingly menial task when it’s in service of that [purpose],” she says. Once you know your “why,” even mundane tasks can feel fulfilling when they align with your deeper motivations.
Building Intentional Time Practices
After tracking your time and reflecting on what matters most, the next step is intentionality. Holmes suggests protecting time for your priorities by scheduling them just as you would important meetings. Whether it’s carving out space for social connection, exercise, or creative pursuits, these “golf balls” deserve a prominent place in your calendar.
For me, this conversation reinforced the importance of savoring moments and aligning time with what matters most. Whether it’s enjoying a holiday tradition or spending a quiet moment watching the sunrise, these intentional choices help us escape the trap of time poverty and cultivate a life of meaning and joy.
So, how will you make the time you have rich?
In gratitude,
Lainie
Photo Credit: Diana Henderson
Connect with and learn from Cassie Holmes:
Website: CassieMHolmes.com
Book: Happier Hour: How to Beat Distraction, Expand Your Time, and Focus on What Matters Most
