Hold yourself as a mother holds her beloved child. —Buddha

Many of us know that we are our own worst critics. We treat ourselves harsher then we would treat others.

We create our own vulnerability through fear, self doubt and wondering whether we will ever be enough in our own lives.

We increase our overwhelm and anxiety in life by perpetuating a cycle of self doubt, self analysis, playing out situations and conversations in our heads, hearts and minds.

By taking ourselves back into a moment in time and holding ourself like our mothers held us we can learn to give ourselves the love, kindness and compassion we deserve.

By giving ourselves a self compassion break we can teach ourselves to mindfully overcome feelings of overwhelm, anxiety and self doubt.

This leads to us really connecting within ourselves, connecting our body and mind and learning how to be attuned to the thoughts and physical sensations that come up for us. By doing this we can teach ourselves to be ready for those moments of angst, anxiety of overwhelm.

Ultimately the goal is for us to accept ourselves for who we are, for what we represent, for what we value, for how we think and also to learn to be enough by accepting our vulnerabilities.

Here is one approach that helps you focus on giving showing compassion towards yourself.

We start by thinking about a situation and then noticing what we feel in our bodies

First of all start by considering a situation in your life that caused your anxiety, overwhelm or stress.

Recall the situation and see if you can actually feel the stress and emotional discomfort in your body when you think about it.

Label it by saying something like this to yourself

“This is a moment of suffering or this hurts, or this is creating stress for me”

Then say to yourself

“Suffering is a part of life, and I am not alone. Many of us struggle in our lives and other people feel these things too”

Give yourself some love and warmth

Now, put your hands over your heart and feel the warmth of your hands and the gentle touch of your hands on your chest.

If your hands on your chest doesn’t feel right for your, perhaps hands over your face or your eyes.

I love to do this with some calming essential oils

Now ask yourself

“What do I need to hear right now to express kindness to myself?”

There may be a phrase that resonates with you, or a phrase that resonates with you just now:

  • May I give myself the compassion that I need
  • May I learn to accept myself as I am
  • May I forgive myself
  • May I be strong.
  • May I be patient

Then bring your attention back to within yourself and just notice once again what is happening with your body

Practising this daily helps us learn how to give ourselves loving kindness and compassion.


  • Helen Reed

    Mindfulness, Holistic Health and Transformation Coach

    Business Owner, Thought Provoker and Entrepreneur focused on holistic approach to mind body well being. Feature as a best selling author of "She Made it Happen" (2017) and recently launched a Corporate Women's Tribe - Motivated Mindful and Moving Women to build and drive positive connections of all like minded women

    She is a corporate businesswoman, a mum and owns her own business - Kappatalize Wellness.  She recently launched a Womens Tribe - Motivated Mindful & Moving Women for women who are overwhelmed and want to learn how to live their most authentic self by focusing on their health and well being through fitness, nutrition, natural living and mindfulness.

    She has worked in the corporate and consulting world for 15 years, focusing on how people shift their mindset when faced with challenging work environments.

    She is a successful motivational speaker and has even authored a chapter in the best selling series "She Made it Happen: 22 inspiring stories from female entrepreneurs around the world"

    She is also the owner of Kappatalize Wellness - a fitness, health and wellness business, where she works with both men and women to help them live the best life they possibly can, with a focus on healthy living through exercise, nutrition, mindset, mindfulness  and wellness programs.

    She is a qualified Change & Project Manager,  Personal Trainer, Bootcamp Trainer, Nutritionist, Holistic Health Coach, NLP Certified and Mindfulness Certified Coach.

    When she is not working or running her own business, she is spending time with her young family, exercising, taking on challenging outdoor adventures,  playing and watching sports and living life :-)