After any heartbreak, our initial human instinct is to shut down and to wall off the very thing we perceive caused the hurt and suffering in the first place. We vow never to be vulnerable again. Often, we decide to go through life alone, thinking that must be the only answer. Because hey if you don’t leave the door open love won’t come to a knocking, right?!
We have all done it …. But in all honesty shutting down never serves us in fact we end up hurting ourselves more but this time it is self inflicted hurt which we seem to be able to tolerate.
So how do we move on and allow love back in, when the thought of being vulnerable again makes us nauseous? Glad you asked!
Its time to Journal your heart open! Here are some journal questions that will allow you to unlock your heart and allow love to walk back through the door.
#1 What did my parents teach me about romantic love and relationships? The positive… and the negative.
#2 What worked in my past relationships?
#3 How do I want to FEEL when I am in a loving relationship?
#4 Write example of a healthy loving relationship you have seen (friends, family, coworkers)
#5 Write out all the characteristics you would love your next partner to posses. Get very detailed try and write a list of 100 traits, attributes, mannerisms etc. you would love him or her to come with.
#6 Who do you want to present as in this new relationship? Is there anything you need to be doing personal growth wise to become someone that this amazing partner will be attracted to? Remember like attracts like
#7 Describe a time when you were vulnerable and loved full out and it was received positively. If you can create a success log of many instances when you did this. This can be with a friend, family member, animal, co worker etc.
#8 Write a letter to your ex’s … yep each one… thank them for the positive things they brought into your life and thank them for the life lessons you learned while you were together. At the end of each letter let them know that you’re now moving on but appreciative of your time together. Don’t start freaking out lol you do not need to mail them. These letters are only for your growth and you can feel free to burn them or leave them in your journal without ever re reading them.
#9 Write a letter to your future spouse/partner letting them know how glad you are that they showed up and how they make you feel and how thankful you are for them being such a beautiful add on to your life.
#10 Make a list of how you plan to stay an independent person inside of a relationship.