Wow, another year has gone by and we are approaching another Mother’s Day. Even though many in the world are still on lock down, Mother’s Day isn’t going to be cancelled. It’s too important of a day not to celebrate.
Mothers are the vehicle that our creator has chosen to deliver new life into to world. It is role he has assigned to mothers and it is a very important one.
Even if you don’t have a biological or adopted child, some of you have assumed the role of motherhood. A role you have assumed part time or taken on full-time.
Many of you are stepping into the role of mothers to nieces, nephews, cousins and other youth who need your love and guidance. You are just as important to the healthy development of a child.
Good mothers are exceptional in showing compassion to their children but somehow forget to show compassion to themselves. Flawed subtle and not so subtle messages abound that somehow if you care for yourself you can’t possible care for your children.
If you don’t show compassion to yourself, how can you possibly show your children how to show compassion for themselves. Of course, I am not talking about being self absorbed, selfish or neglectful and not caring for your children’s needs.
At times in their lives their needs will and should come before our own. I am referring to living a balance life and recognizing that the compassion you give to others is equally important to give to yourself.
Self-Compassion Is The Secret Sauce
As mothers, it’s especially important to model show compassion to yourself so that you don’t deplete yourself of your self-esteem and self-worth. Both of these things are critical to model in order to teach our children how to maintain them within their own lives.
One of the most important ways to practice self compassion is by practicing self care. It signals to your brain that your basic needs are important and that you are important enough to take care of you.
If you don’t make your self care a priority you leave yourself vulnerable for physical and mental health issues that can significantly impact your life and your family. Some may include high blood pressure, heart disease, depression, obesity and many others.
One Quick Way To Start Giving Yourself Compassion That You Can Start Today
One easy and very effective way that I teach my patient’s to do is to draw up a self care contract for themselves. I mean LITERALLY type of a self care contract and put it on your fridge. This way you see it EVERYDAY and this will keep you accountable to yourself.
List one thing that you promise to do for yourself EVERY week that makes you feel good that does NOT include spending a lot of money. It could be taking a bubble bath with relaxing music, candle light included.
It could be taking a relaxing walk, making a lunch date with a friend who always encourages you. Whatever your one thing is , make a priority to make it happen every week without fail.
Make your contract simple but be very specific about what you will do for yourself. The contract does not need to be fancy or complicated but it does need to be specific. The brain works best when you give it specific guidelines. Do not be vague in what you will do for yourself. Have clear and specific instructions for your brain to help give you what you need.
Some sample wording to include in your contact could be as following: “I, Susan Jones promise to make myself a priority by agreeing to take one hour each week of uninterrupted time to read “Mansfield Park, my favorite book choice”. Of course, it doesn’t have to be that book or that activity you get to choose. Just remember to be VERY specific in your intention.
Whatever day and time works with your schedule put it down on your calendar and make a date with yourself. Make an appointment with yourself and don’t break it. Reschedule it for another day if needed, but do not cancel it.
By doing this one simple thing, you are putting your brain on notice that YOU feel your are important enough to show yourself the critical compassion and self-care you need.