On a sunny Saturday afternoon, with tears chasing each other down both sides of my face, I told my now ex-husband that I wanted a divorce. We had met in college, built a successful business, and had a beautiful daughter.

 I wasn’t ready for divorce.

Six weeks later, I walked into my boss’s office and resigned with no intention of ever going back into that career. I left a six-figure salary, a twenty-five-year career and a pension that would have kept me financially secure well into old age.

I wasn’t ready for financial uncertainty.

Not long after that I recognized that I had romantic feelings for one of my closest girl friends who I trusted with my deepest secrets.

I wasn’t ready at all to examine my evolving sexuality.

And when I finally got serious about my healing journey, I gave up alcohol after holding a near empty tequila bottle high over my head waiting for the last drop to land on my tongue.

I was not ready to be sober.

One thing I know about change is that great things happen when you do them before you are ready because being ready rarely comes

Try this out. Bring something to mind that you know in your heart of hearts needs to change in your life. Maybe it’s a relationship or a work situation or something about yourself that you know is not serving you well. We all have these nagging little issues that bubble up to the surface when we least expect them. Do you wonder why you haven’t taken any action? You tell yourself that you’re not ready, don’t you?

Here’s the deal about being ready. We are humans and humans are never ready for anything outside of our comfort zone. As a species, we are just not hardwired to embrace change!  In fact, our complicated subconscious will go to great lengths to convince us that we should remain in the same uncomfortable situation every single time we even think about challenging our status quo. As if having our emotions in a choke hold wasn’t enough, our subconscious will also make us so physically uncomfortable with the idea of change that we will do nearly anything to avoid it! You see, pain is a hunter and most of us will go so far as to deny our authenticity in order to keep a healthy distance from it. We do all of this despite our knowing that on the other side of that resistance is the person we are aspiring to be.

Women give up on their dreams for so many reasons. We lack support, resources, and confidence. Often times, we are mistakenly waiting for an external sign that we are ready for change. The truth is we will rarely get a signal from the heavens, a reassuring whisper in our ear or a glittery visit from our fairy godmother telling us, “You’re ready now my little princess!”  

When I wasn’t ready for divorce, financial uncertainty, examining my sexuality or getting sober, I got BOLD instead. It worked for me and it will work for you too. Rather than waiting for something that may never come, try this BOLD strategy.

B – Get brutally honest with yourself – look yourself in the mirror and tell her what you want in as much detail as you possibly can. Let yourself feel all the emotion of being that woman you have in your heart and mind. Go ahead, cry, yell, scream and keep eye contact with yourself. Describe the woman you want to be to your reflection and tell her you are there for her. Feel that dream as if it is already yours because it is and you’re taking steps to go get it.

O – Take one step, even a small one, toward being that woman you aspire to be whether you’re ready or not. Be like Nike and just do it! If you need a website for your dream, get a 14-day free trial today. That’s it! One little step.

L – Show yourself some love and compassion because this is hard work and every little bit of effort toward becoming the best damn version of yourself is worth celebrating.

D – Do it again! Before you know it, it won’t matter that you weren’t ready, because you are already on your way! Take one little step every single day.

When successful women are asked about their best lives, many say, with almost 100% certainty that the life they have created was full of challenges that they weren’t always ready for. There are thousands of women to look to for inspiration and courage. When we recognize that “waiting to be ready” is actually a mindset keeping us stuck outside of our purpose and meaning in life, we are ready.

You’ve got this!