In Australia, like many other countries, on meeting or passing someone, people routinely ask a question, “How are you?”

The answer, more often then not, is the double negative “not too bad.”

Usually, it’s ignored. The conversation moves on or the people walk past each other without exchanging another question.

Think about what you ask people when you greet them. 

Think about the answer you use.

As an experiment, next time you are in a position to interact with someone with a greeting, why don’t you try replacing “How are you” with “What’s the best thing happening for you?” or whatever similar question feels natural.

Another experiment? If someone asks you, “How are you?”, pause… and respond with something like “Thank you for asking, life’s good and I am working on a very interesting….”

I am willing to bet that an answer like that will cause them to pause and ask you a very good question creating better engagement and, perhaps, making a new ally.

Victor Perton’s book “The Case for Optimism: The Optimists’ Voices is available from Amazon and other book sellers.

Author(s)

  • Victor Perton

    Chief Optimism Officer

    The Centre for Optimism

    I ask people what makes them optimistic.

    The purpose? To help everyone and anyone become more optimistic and to add to their CV “I am a realistic and infectiously optimistic leader.” My underpinning beliefs are “The leader looks like the person in your mirror” & “All good leadership is optimistic.” I am the author of “Optimism: The How and Why” and “The Case for Optimism: The Optimist's Voices”. I am the Founder and Editor of “The Australian Leadership Project” (www.australianleadership.com) I am an author, speaker, compère, moderator, barrister and researcher. In prison, schools, universities, boards, corporates, NGOs, conferences and retreats I have shared the learnings from “The Case for Optimism" & The Australian Leadership Project. I am available to moderate roundtables and retreats, deliver keynote speeches and conference panels and one-to-one coaching. For the right causes, we undertake CEO & board searches with optimistic leadership as the sought-after quality. My life experience includes stints as Commissioner to the Americas, 18 years a parliamentarian, practice as a barrister, mediator, arbitrator, businessman and board service. I was Senior Engagement Adviser in the Australian G20 presidency supporting Australian leadership of the G20 Finance Ministers & Central Bank Governors & in the Brisbane G20 Leaders Summit described by the Prime Minister as "the most important gathering Australia has ever hosted."