I have lost my father last year and have gone through the stages of pain. But the pain my mother went through is indescribable.
I have seen her coping with the pain day and night and still, she is not completely fine.
If anyone of you have lost your significant other, these words would somehow help you heal your pain.
What’s the best way to move past the loss of a significant other?
Moving on after a major loss in life is quite difficult, and when you lose your significant other, it feels like you have lost a part of yourself and you feel like paralyzed for this world. You can’t move past the trauma, but yes you can get back up to face the challenges of the world. And if you have kids, you need to be strong for them after. Because from that time, you have to be a father and a mother for them.
Allow the feelings of disappointment, anger, irritation, and different others. It’s natural to feel this way; let your tears flow.
Gently remind yourself that your feelings are well within the norm. There is no “wrong” or “right” when it comes to your feelings about losing your spouse.
Be patient with the grieving process. Every person has its own capacity for coping with loss. If you are taking a long time, don’t worry, let it be. Allow yourself to face the stages of grief.
You will feel angry on little things as the truth of the situation begins to take hold, and it’s okay. No Doctor or a psychiatrist can heal the pain of your loss, so don’t feel that you need a doctor or psychiatrist in that situation. It’s completely normal to feel anger and rage.
You may fall into the state of depression which may affect your health. But this overwhelming sadness you feel is normal, and if you stay strong, it will not last forever. In the state of depression, don’t stay alone, spend time with your kids, meet your friends, and cry on to a shoulder of your parents or friends when you need to. You will surely come out of the depressive state.
Accept the change in your life. Your life will not be going to same now, and you need to go with the flow. Get back up whenever you fall. Whenever you face an unfortunate situation, keep reminding yourself that, if your spouse were here, what will he do? Do the same and fight back by following his strategies.
You don’t have your significant other in your life, but you have his memories, his words, his actions, his thoughts, keep him alive in your life by following his actions. Now you have to live with a spouse who is not so present in the world but he is in your heart, and he will stay there forever. Keep him alive there. And Smile again because he always wanted to see you smiling.
What should you do when upsetting memories flood back? How can you ground yourself?
When upsetting memories flood back, let them be. The memories are here to make you strong. Don’t feel disappointed. Feel the moment of sadness stay there for sometimes and then wipe your tears, smile, look at the photo of your spouse, talk to him and tell him that you are getting stronger day by day. That’s the only thing he wants from you now.