When I sat down to write my third book, Unbinding the Heart, I meant to tell the story of how I discovered the gift of my own expression. Then I actually began, and I felt daunted. I was about to share some of my most profound inner experiences, and I wondered whether I would find the right words to do them justice.
So I started where I could. Everything came out raw, in stream of consciousness, and I often found myself writing stories that seemed insignificant at the time. Then a quiet inner voice offered me a simple instruction: Don’t judge it; just write it.
As I began to trust that voice, something shifted. I felt a release, as if a dam had opened and the river was finally free to move. The words poured out of me. I stopped trying to control where the writing was going and trusted my creative flow to lead me. Little by little, the stories emerged, and I was delighted to discover there was far more there than I could have imagined.
What struck me most was that my creativity had been lying dormant all along. It only woke up when I found the courage to tell my stories and reveal my inner world.
We all have it
I believe every one of us carries creativity within us. It might show up on paper, on a canvas, in dance or song, in a garden or in the kitchen, or in any other kind of making. The form doesn’t matter. What matters is that we need the courage to let it out, and many of us are afraid to, especially in the beginning.
When we first begin to express ourselves creatively, we’re like children learning to walk. We fall and stumble, and that is part of it. The difference is that a child never judges herself. She has no critical voice. She stands, she falls, and she gets up again, somehow knowing, I am going to walk. I am meant to walk. That impulse is embedded in her body.
Creativity is embedded in us in the same way. But our adult mind steps in and judges it. We come up with a thousand what-ifs: What if it’s not good enough? What if people don’t like it? What if I’m rejected? And so we decide we might as well not try. We keep our gifts from the world because of a voice that won’t let us, as choreographer Martha Graham put it, “keep the channel open.”
Why the ego resists
It’s a funny thing about the ego. It will stop us from moving forward because it doesn’t want our image to be cracked. It’s trying to keep us safe, and there is nothing safe about creativity.
When we create, we step into unknown territory that takes shape as we go. In a way, we have to cede control over the result. We have to be willing to attempt something and, if we don’t like the outcome, begin again. We must risk looking foolish and awkward, and most of all, we must suspend judgment. That is how we surrender to what is ultimately the divine joy of creating.
And you can’t get there by thinking about it or analyzing it. You get there by rolling up your sleeves and diving in.
A moment to try
Take a few minutes to go to your place of quiet and ask yourself: What is it that I’ve wanted to create?
Let an image form in your mind’s eye. What would it look like? What would it feel like to put it together? What would it be like to birth this idea? Make your vision as specific and alive as you can, and bring it into the present moment. Then keep taking the next step. Along the way, ask with all your heart for support from the spirit that knows you, loves you, and wants you to create.
Have fun with it. You will run into stumbling blocks. You may hit a dry spell and not know what to do next. That’s okay. It’s all part of the process, so don’t fall into the trap of discouragement.
Tend it like a garden
Your creative expression, in any form, is a gift, and you have a responsibility to nurture it. Tend it the way you would a garden: fertilize it, water it, and weed out the judgments, the comparisons, and the thoughts of unworthiness and self-doubt.
For me, opening to creativity is a form of prayer. You allow yourself to move beyond your personality, your ego, and your judgments, and you crack the door open to your soul.
So go for it. What do you have to lose, other than maybe a protected self-image? Do you want to live your whole life inside a limited version of yourself, or would you rather meet the expanded one? That version of you is waiting on the other side of the door, and it meets you when you dare to open it.
A prayer for creating
Dear Beloved,
I ask that my expression may flow freely. Help me trust what I hear inside, follow my creative pulse, and withhold nothing. I suspend all judgment and criticism, and I give myself permission not to know the whole picture or the outcome. I will take each step as it is given to me in the day, and trust that the pieces will be revealed.
Keep me connected to my source, and free from comparing my expression to anyone else’s. I may be inspired by others’ extraordinary work, but that doesn’t mean mine is any less. No matter how small my contribution, I will not call it insignificant, because in every garden and every orchard, it’s the tiny flowers that make up the whole.
I am excited to see what unfolds.
So be it.