Most People Live Their Lives Backwards
If you are guilty of structuring your days around task completion and the ever-elusive “to do” list, only to feel like there’s never “enough” time in the day to get it all done, then you’re not alone…
As multi-passionate entrepreneur raising three young kids while running two businesses, I can relate. Most of my days are so full that I multi-task and try and get more done faster only to lose the sense of focus, peace, and presence that I so desperately crave.
In my coaching sessions with clients ranging from Executive leaders to single moms, I constantly hear how busy people are and how much they desire a different way of living: One that feels free of the struggle of doing it all in favor of enjoying the relationships and opportunities they have.
A wise college mentor once told my UCLA undergraduate self, “You can do it all. You just can’t do it all at once.” Her words still ring true now, maybe even more than ever as I parent with purpose and lead with intention.
As parents, we all have heard the saying “the days are long, but the years are short.”
How are are you living your days that make up these precious years?
So often, it feels like we’re living life in fast-forward – scrambling to get mouths fed, bottoms wiped, laundry folded, meals prepped, and emails sent. Hustling, moving, going, doing. There is no pause button and we only power down once it’s all done…or when we crash!
Let’s find and honor our “enough point” by exploring the core value of sufficiency.
Choosing Sufficiency
In a world where efficiency has become currency, no one teaches us how to find and honor our “enough point” so we can hit pause or stop to celebrate what we’ve done and how far we’ve already come. Instead, we fixate on what’s undone and won’t let our minds or hearts rest.
When we prioritize doing over being, we sell out on fulfillment for the sake of achievement.
Leslie M. Bosserman
Wayne Muller, author of A Life of Being, Having, and Dong Enough shares that “Enough is a verb, a conversation, a fugue, a collaboration. It is not a static state, something achieved or accomplished. It is relational by nature unpredictable, punctuated by wonder, surprise, and awe.”
When do you choose efficiency over sufficiency? Too often, the busyness of doing overtakes the thoughtfulness of being.
While living a life fueled by productivity, finding peace can be a struggle. So we must reframe how we’re thinking and restructure how we’re leading. Here are three ways you can choose to focus on sufficiency and invite more self-acceptance into your life.
1. DECIDE WHO YOU WANT TO BE
We are asked from young age “what do you want to DO when you grow up?” but what if we change the question? What if, instead, we were asked “who do you want to BE when you grow up”? This reframe get us thinking BIGGER about the type of life we’re creating and what’s truly important. When we restructure how we’re living based on these core values and priorities, we can BE more intentional with what we choose to DO.
2. FIND YOUR “ENOUGH POINT”
Everything you say “yes” to has a corresponding “no” since we have a finite capacity of time, energy, and talent. That means, everyone has an “enough point” – the place when things are done or even “good enough” to hit pause or stop for the day. We must choose what “enough” looks and feels like in each task or season so we can find rest and peace in the sufficiency of a day well lived and a life well led.
3. CREATE YOUR “TA DA” LIST
It’s time to retire your traditional “to do” list in favor of a celebratory “TA DA” list! When considering what we need to complete, most of us write down everything that is yet to happen, rather than taking time at the end of each day to take stock of what you already have accomplished. While both have their purposes, make sure you’re carving out a few minutes each day to recognize your efforts and celebrate your achievements!
What is the biggest thing you can do now to invite more sufficiency into your life?
Wayne Muller’s wisdom holds true: “The more we choose the next right thing based on what we love and less on what we can handle, we are likely to have many sources of sufficiency and nourishment.”
Start today. Even a small step of claiming more rest, acceptance, focus, and renewal will go a long way to finding and honoring your “enough point” as you become the person you intend to be.
