Ever have someone take credit for your work? Have you been cheated on or abused in any way mentally, physically, or emotionally? Or maybe your best friend blabbed a secret you didn’t want anyone to know?
Betrayal can feel like a deep stab in the back, heart and everywhere in between. Our trust in others and even ourselves can be shattered into a thousand different pieces. The deeper the relationship in terms of trust, sacrifice, commitment, and heart the harder it feels to overcome it and like Humpty Dumpty we’re at a loss of putting it back together again.
It can impact our health, career, relationships and so much more. In fact, research has shown that people who have experienced a significant amount of trauma from betrayal are more likely to suffer from pain, diabetes, chronic fatigue, headaches, irritable bowel syndrome among other things.
Dr. Debi Silber is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert and the author of Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence, and Happiness. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx and more, she’s an award-winning speaker, coach and author dedicated to helping women move past their betrayal once and for all.
Having gone through a heart numbing betrayal from her husband Silber knows firsthand what it’s like to go through it but more importantly she knows how to heal the wounds no matter how deep.
She conducted a PhD study on how women experience betrayal and made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal which are laid out in more detail in her book Trust Again.
The first discovery Silber made was that there are five distinct stages we need to go through in order to heal and move on. Second healing from betrayal is different from healing from other traumas like disease, natural disasters, losing a loved one. Lastly Silber discovered that there is a collection of physical, mental and emotional symptoms associated with betrayal that’s called Post Betrayal Syndrome.
One important element that came up in Silber’s research was that we don’t take the time to really tune into our gut or intuition. We are so caught up thinking and doing all day long that either we have lost that connection or we shut it out and dismiss it completely. It’s that feeling that something is off or that feeling you should be doing something different. We can all learn how to tap into our intuition and Silber describes how in her book.
If you feel like you’re struggling with trusting others on any level due to past betrayals read this book.