In my early twenties, I moved to Los Angeles to work in the Hollywood entertainment industry. I would hear the term “It Factor” often from high-level executives, casting directors, and agents when referring to stars, athletes, and leaders who were famous in the public eye.

It never once dawned on me that I had an “It Factor”. After all, wasn’t that reserved for a select few? I used to think how “lucky” someone like Oprah Winfrey must be to be born into the anointed group that would rise to greatness.

In my thirties, I had an aha moment. I connected the dots when I witnessed new “talent” rise quickly in the toughest industry in the world because they were born into an influential Hollywood the last name. That influence and wealth was a large contributor to an individual’s ability to be anointed with the “It Factor” in the marketplace, in Hollywood, and globally in every field.

In my forties, I sat with my belief systems from my twenties and thirties and had yet another aha moment. Yes, being born into an influential last name and wealth is relevant; however, Oprah wasn’t born into an influential last name, nor into wealth, but she is a household name. I no longer believed that there were a select few that were born with an “It Factor”. Instead, I realized that I was born with an “It Factor” and so was everyone else. It is just that some people like Oprah got back to owning their birthright of standing in their spotlight, sharing their gifts and talents, and allowing their “It Factor” to shine bright sooner than others. It got me thinking, “What is Oprah’s secret sauce?”

As I entered my fifties, I read a quote from Oprah Winfrey, “If you can’t handle being talked about, you are not ready for success.” I was appreciative of Oprah reminding us that you have to be okay with criticism and rejection if you are going to be successful. I remembered while working on the set of Independence Day with superstar Will Smith, how impressed I was at how at ease he had on set. I was even more impressed by how at ease he was on the red carpet of the ID4 premieres with countless screaming and adoring fans constantly showering him with adoration and love. I remember thinking how overwhelming it must be to have endless love and adoration be thrown at you everywhere you go. Then I had the ultimate aha moment. I realized that the concept of why we play small isn’t solely because of the fear of criticism or rejection. It is because we are not taught how to take in massive amounts of LOVE.

I believe that superstars like Oprah Winfrey and Will Smith have discovered the secret sauce of growing their love bucket. That the size of their love bucket is in direct alignment with their capacity to allow their dreams and desires to come to fruition. Their love bucket capacity is in direct alignment with how large of a spotlight they can stand in and how much love they are able to allow in and receive from the marketplace. Their love bucket is in direct alignment with shining a bright spotlight on their “It Factor”, which the world views as “fame”.

It got me thinking about how big Oprah’s “Love Bucket” has to be for her to be able to handle being recognized everywhere she goes and to encounter countless raving fans shouting out her name, asking to get her autograph, and to take a picture with her. How big does her love bucket have to be to allow a net worth of 2.8 Billion and to receive countless awards which include an Oscar, Emmy, Lifetime Achievement Award, and more?

I took a hard look at my “Love Bucket” and it became clear that my love bucket capacity was very low. I decided to test my theory and I set an intention for the past two years. I would pull out every inner game tool that I had and apply them to growing my love bucket.

The last two years of my life changed in the most extraordinary ways. My dream of falling in love, getting engaged, and married came to fruition. My dream of creating a successful and sustainable business as a brand director, coach, author, and international speaker came to fruition. My dream of writing a second book came to fruition. My desire to step out of the shadows and stand in my Spotlight and share my gifts and talents with the world came to fruition. My desire to be more at ease came to fruition.

If you are struggling with making your dreams and desires come to life, I encourage you to recognize that it is your birthright to embrace your “It Factor”. It is not for a select few. I encourage you to take a close look at how much love you are able to take in. How can you embrace your “Love Bucket” and grow your LOVE capacity every day? Your dreams and desires are waiting patiently.