Do you find your mind is lingering at work about how angry your son or daughter has been lately? Does this impact your productivity at work? The best advice for you as a mother or father is to learn The Parental Intelligence Way.
When at home, leave your work aside and attend to your angry child by trying to learn about the conflicts on their minds The Parental Intelligence Way which includes 5 steps:
1. Step Back and look at the patterns of the anger. When does it show itself and how? You may discover young kids don’t always articulate their anger just like teens refrain from spelling it out in words. Instead you notice high levels of irritability, rebellion, and curt sharp language. Don’t react on the spot but just notice when and where this occurs. Find the patterns.
2. Self-Reflect on your own reactions and feelings and you will stay a step ahead of your child’s woes.
3. Understand Your Child’s Mind by asking them what’s bothering them. Listen carefully without blaming and you may be surprised with how much you can learn. Do not jump to conclusions or give solutions. Be a sounding board and keep asking for more information.
4. Understand Your Child’s Development by thinking about whether your expectations fit your individual child or teen, not based on their age per se, but their developmental level.
5. Problem Solving comes naturally at this point because you have discovered the underlying issues behind your child’s anger. Then together you can collaborate on options for relieving the anger and the problems that caused it.
In this clearly defined way, you will not only solve the problems but improve your child or teen-parent bond. When the anger has come into control at home, your work life will be more productive and satisfying and you’ll have the confidence to be a worker and a parent, two important jobs!
Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. is a psychoanalyst and author of two pertinent books on this topic: UNLOCKING PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE: FINDING MEANING IN YOUR CHILD’S BEHAVIOR and THE BUSY PARENT’S GUIDE TO MANAGING ANGER IN YOUR CHILD AND TEEN: THE PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE WAY. Find these books on Amazon and wherever books are sold. Visit Dr.Hollman’s website for more guidance: lauriehollmanphd.com.