Often times, you have the impression that love is not there anymore, although the relationship seemed to be rosy at the beginning. Or you have got many relationships, and each time, you don’t really feel being loved. Some of you have been single for some time and seeking a long-lasting relationship? I know, many questions haunt you: Does this thing we call “true love” exist? And how can I attract my soulmate?

Where is your relationship today?

There are many examples of a relationship where you are not really “soulmates”. Do you find yourself in one of the below?

  • Your mate and you do not seem to have anything to speak about
  • Don’t feel comfortable sharing your worries with your mate
  • When you want to start speaking, you have the impression that you are disturbing your mate. What you want to share is of no interest to your mate.
  • Don’t feel any love or affection anymore from your mate
  • Never laugh or very rarely now, with the presence of your mate
  • Feel that your mate is there physically but not really there mentally with you
  • Your mate is not engaged in a long-term relationship with you

“We were together at a party or in an event. Each time, I had the impression that we are side by side only physically. My mate’s head was just looking around, trying to find someone to talk. It was as if he didn’t feel that we were enough, just to be together. Something was missing between us”

If you do find yourself in these situations, rest assured, many do. But how can I attract a soulmate? Firstly, let’s look into what a soulmate is.

10 Elements of a Soulmate

‘A soulmate is a person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet. A connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, so complex, that you doubt if you have ever loved before”


Here below are some elements of a soulmate:

  • It’s something inside and profound. You can feel it, but difficult to describe it, as no word can encompass.
  • Possible flashbacks. If your partner is your soulmate, chances are he or she has been present in your past lives. You might experience some flashbacks or “deja vu”
  • You just get each other. Finish each other’s sentences, get on well as fire, spend too much time together.
  • You fall in love with his (or her) flaws. Soulmates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each other’s imperfections. 
  • It’s intense. A soulmate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships
  • You two against the world. Soulmate relationships are founded on unity above all else.
  • You’re mentally inseparable. You might pick up the phone to call each other at the exact same time. Although separated physically, your minds are tuned.
  • You feel secure and protected. A person who plays on your insecurities, whether consciously or subconsciously, is not your soulmate.
  • You can’t imagine your life without him (or her). It is someone you believe is worth sticking with and fighting for.
  • You look at each other in the eye (more than normal couples). It shows a deep-seated connection and a high level of comfort and confidence.
  • You want the best for each other, instead of wanting each other.
  • Your love makes each other feel free and happy.

Will I ever find such a person? Does it sound too beautiful to be true?

Attracting a soulmate comes back all to attracting true love. When we nourish our happiness and help it grow, we foster our capacity to love. Cultivate a living lifestyle that is mindful, respectful, encompassing love, and compassion. You will then open yourself to the loving energy of the universe. As a result, your soulmate will not delay appearing in your life.

Practicing mindfulness is a gateway to building loving energy within you. I propose below 3 mindful questions to think about today. They might be helpful for your search.

How can I attract my soulmate? Answer these 3 mindful questions

1. What kind of mate I think I merit?

Your soulmate has not yet been on the horizon. Why? Probably because you have not opened yourself to the loving energy of the universe. You certainly don’t believe yet that such a relationship exists. And I guess, most of all, you might not believe that you merit it.

One of my friends was not loved by her mother. Although it never happened to her to clearly think about it, in all her past relationships, she was not truly loved. Either the person wanted her for her physical attractiveness, to support his child caring. Or simply, the person wasn’t engaged enough. She had even the impression that some even wanted to “buy” her, by material support.

It was because, deep down in her, she didn’t believe she merited true love, a relationship that is worth it. And the “kind of mate” she thought she merited, couldn’t rise above these self-limited beliefs.

We can only receive what we are ready for. We never attract true love, because we believe we don’t deserve it. But there’s nothing special you must do to deserve love


There are multiple reasons that constructed our beliefs in the love we merit. The psychological impact of the subconscious thoughts can be tremendous in paving the way to what can really reach you. Today, build the trust within you that you merit a soulmate, who loves you truly, and for who you truly are.

To do this, have the courage and wisdom to build an image of your future mates, for their souls, not for faces. Go beyond their jobs, their occupations, their appearances, even their mentality, and thoughts… Go deeper to their pure love. It sounds difficult, doesn’t it? Because we are all conditioned by our egos and the values that society has taught us to believe. But, if you can do it, you will see the difference in the people who appear in your life.

Time for practice: Today, breathe in and out mindfully. Practice seeing deeply in the nature of things, to all their essence. Write down on a piece of paper, the qualities of your future soulmate. Go deep into the feelings and sensations you have when you feel truly loved and cared for.

2. What is the image I build of myself?

How worthy you are, to merit a soulmate? Before building an image of your soulmate, firstly, you need to truly be you and feel its worthiness.

“When I put a photo of myself, with a red dress and fancy tights”, shared one of my friends “I didn’t feel myself at all. But I had 40 ‘likes’ on Facebook. Another time, I put a photo of me on a farm, where I felt really comfortable, exactly who I was, but I had only 20 ‘likes. It’s incredible how society takes importance on your external appearance. I can’t be myself, because people will evaluate upon me”, she said.

“Do you think the Facebook ‘likes’ are so important?” I asked her.

It’s the online world. But in reality, there is not much a difference. The evaluation and approval of people are so important to us. If we are not grounded, we can “drop the bait to catch the ball” – follow and fit ourselves in an image that society wants of us.

Only when you can accept yourself as you are, can you have a chance to see yourself as your “real home”. Accept your body as it is. Accept your mind, thoughts, and emotions, as they are. You can then rest, recover, relax, and feel the inner joy and peace. Accept yourself, as you are. It’s a very important practice. When you can build your inner home, you become more and more beautiful, from inside, and outside.

To connect more deeply with others, you must face the one person that you keep on the shortest leash: yourself


For this, mindful practices can help. They bring back our sense of worthiness. Being in the present, and seeing profoundly in the nature of things, we can come back to the true essence of who we are. “You breathe in, and you breathe out mindfully. And you realize that your body is a wonder of the cosmos. It comes from plants, the sun, the rain, and generations of human, plant, and animal ancestors. You are a wonder” (Thich Nhat Hanh).

“A true partner or friend is someone who encourages you to discover in the most profound of yourself the beauty and the love that you search”

– Thich Nhat Hanh –

Live mindfully, stay in the present moment, meditate and cultivate the silence. You will be in touch with the more profound consciousness that you encompass within yourself. This paves the way for a first true love for yourself. And with that image, you will attract your soulmate, who will love you as who you truly are.

Time for practiceToday, during meditation, and throughout the day, be aware of the image you create of yourself. Practice the silence, connect with nature, and remind yourself of the essence of who you are. Believe that you merit true love.

3. Will I accept this mate only because I am lonely and not whole?

Often times, we fall in love with someone, not because we love and understand the person truly. But because it’s a way to distract ourselves from our own sufferings. For example, we feel lonely, we desire physical contact and emotional security.

But to find a soulmate, first of all, we must find back our own “inner home” without the need for distraction from the external world. The day you can feel good alone, filled with inner peace and joy, that’s the day you are the readiest to attract a soulmate.

Thich Nhat Hanh once said, that the first element of true love, is loving-kindness. Its essence is the capacity to offer happiness. You can become the sun that brings light to another person. However, you can’t offer happiness to someone, when you don’t have it yourself.

Similarly, desiring only physical or sexual relationship without a heart and mind connection can be a suffering. The three kinds of intimacy (physical, emotional, and spiritual) must co-exist in a soulmate relationship. How can I attract my soulmate? By first yourself feeling whole, connected to yourself, and wishing to have these connections with your future partner.

Mindful practice: When you feel lonely, come back to your inner home. During a meditation, sit quietly, and visit your own thoughts. Ask yourself: Am I in love with this person truly, or because I would like to fill up the emptiness of my own soul? Practice the silence and solitude. Fill yourself up with the strength, and loving energy that brings you nature, and the present moment.

As a conclusion

Having a soulmate is one of the most beautiful experiences in a lifetime. You experience a strong connection, with a love so deep and complex. To many of us, having such an intense and beautiful relationship, being soulmates, seem to be a myth than a reality.

How can I attract my soulmate? Attracting a soulmate comes back all to attracting true love. When we nourish our happiness and help it grow, we foster our capacity to love.

Today, raise to yourself three questions: 1) What kind of mate I think I merit? 2) What is the image I build of myself? And 3) Will I accept this mate only because I am lonely and not whole?

Deconstruct the image you build on yourself and future your mate. Get in touch with the more profound consciousness that you encompass within yourself. Mindfully open yourself to the loving energy of the universe. As a result, believe me, your soulmate will not delay appearing in your life.

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