The topic of the day was how to stop rape. She said, “In my life, I have killed spiders and scorpions with my bare hands around the house. I have dared a fierce gated dog to come tear me apart. I have watched a caged lion and stood a few feet away from it without any fear. I can stand in the dark for hours and not be afraid of any animal lurking in the dark. However, there is one animal I fear with everything I have. That animal is the man”. Rape is a catastrophe that needs getting rid of. It traumatizes the victims and they live with lifelong hallowing experiences.
I believe the problem starts from when men are still young boys. Teaching young boys and men that showing emotions is a sign of weakness, is I believe where the whole problem starts. Men should be strong at all times and anger means strength, is what young boys learn. They are made to believe that there is nothing like sexual violence but that sex is simply a transaction between two parties and any word like rape is all in a woman’s mind and does not actually take place.
Teaching young girls and boys from the onset that women need men in their live translates to mean men possess women. Therefore, men take what they assume they possess by force and women keep quiet about it because the person that took them by force possesses them.
Telling young boys and young girls at very early ages, that being in a relationship is some kind of an achievement and that anyone that cannot sustain a relation is a weakling, is bound to translate to something very different. Further telling them that there is no such thing as self-love is also bound to mean something else. At some point if a girl or woman finds herself alone, she opts to take the person that shows the slightest interest in her and calls it a relationship. It does not matter whether the other person reciprocates the feelings.
This is how society normalizes psychopathy and patriarchy. Women can no longer dress in certain ways because doing so would be asking men to rape them and have the women faulted for improper dressing. Most of the rape scenarios are between people that know each other. Close relatives, a boyfriend, and a husband or even close friends. Rape does not happen because the woman is a whore or acting like one. It happens because the man probably just felt like it or felt entitled to having sex with the woman.
The silence around rape is tantamount and things can only change for the better if society learnt to address women issues. There is economic disempowerment on women’s lives that women are forced to stay with abusive men because they simply cannot provide if they go at it alone. The rape culture is so prevalent everywhere especially in our colleges that even a young female adult going through her account would lose concentration if a guy seated next to her is eyeballing her.
We need to raise more voices to increase awareness and teach young boys to respect girls and everyone around them. We can all offer better voices while remaining pragmatic and somehow, the problem might go away.