Without having clear goals, we’re drifting just like leaves in the wind. The days are passing by, and we don’t know where we’re heading. On the other hand, having too full to-do lists and too many goals can lead to stress and overwhelm.
Another problem is that we don’t follow our goals until we make them happen because we lose interest or energy.
So how do we find a balance between being flexible and having clear goals?
It requires certain practices and techniques that anyone can learn. I want to share with you what specifically works for me and inspire you to find a system that works for you.
Main mistakes while setting up goals
1. Having conflicting goals.
When you desire two things that are in opposition to each other, you probably don’t achieve either of them. Or not to a degree you wanted. It makes sense, but many people have conflicting goals. For example, your goal is to quit your corporate job to start your own business, and at the same time, you want to have more time for your family. This can be contradictional because starting a new business takes a lot of time and focus. Much more than you might have imagined. You can find yourself in a position when you work more than when you were employed by someone else, and on the top of that, you have many new fears. Just like where do money will come from or figuring out the legal things. This can make you feel even more stressed and cranky when you’re with your family. Therefore, you can find yourself in a situation with two unaligned goals.
2. Not dealing with your mindset first.
Any goal that is out of your comfort zone brings fears and doubts. That is normal. But you must learn how to work on your mental setbacks, so you don’t sabotage your goals right at the beginning. No amount of affirmations or trying to be positive when you’re full of doubts down inside can bring you closer to your goals. Because we all tend to first manifest our fears so we can transform them into wisdom and growth. Find yourself a good life coach or ask someone you trust to help you work on your mindset. Self-sabotaging mindset is one of the biggest obstacles on the way to any dreams and goals.
3. Setting uninspiring goals.
To have the energy to continue on the way to your goals, you need focus and discipline. Your goals must be inspiring enough to help you make it through the tough times. Many people set their goals based on what they “should” and based on the expectations of others. This, of course, doesn’t inspire and it doesn’t give us the extra push when we need it the most.
How do I set my goals?
1. Tune into me.
I’ve learned that the most powerful and joyful is to set the goals that come from deep within me. I usually meditate to calm my mind and then I feel into my heart to listen what makes me the most inspired AT THE MOMENT.
Naturally, I have, like anyone else, many goals and dreams. But we cannot get everything at once because we aren’t ready for it or it’s simply not the right timing. Therefore I ask myself what do I want to focus on the most and then I listen until I receive some answer. The answer comes as aha moment, thought, feeling, image, or sensation. It doesn’t matter which way it happens, but I immediately feel that “this is it.”
2. I write my goals somewhere visible.
Usually, I have the goals written in more places, such as sticky notes, calendar, diary, email, phone. The more, the better because you want to set your mind up to your goals every day.
3. I clear any fear related to my goals.
I ask myself a simple question to realize what my fears related to the goals are. I ask; how would I feel if it would happen now?
This is the fastest way to see the fears and then I do some self-coaching work to let them go. If it’s some deeper fears, I don’t push myself into letting them go immediately, but rather I gradually rewire my mind.
4. I listen to manifestation mantra music.
I have one favorite mantra song on my phone that I listen to pretty much once a day. It’s potent song which comes with the warning that anything you think about will manifest (which is fine because that’s what I want).
While I listen to it – usually about 20 minutes – I visualize what I want with all the details and positive feelings.
Sometimes, I just use this song without any specific goals but rather with the lifestyle I want to have or how I want to serve others in a bigger scale.
Letting your mind wander is fine. Visualizations are very powerful if you’re in the right mood and mindset. You can choose any song that inspires you and makes you feel like you can do anything.
5. I rewrite my goals daily.
After the visualization, I take my little notebook which is devoted just for my goal setting, and I rewrite the goals I’m working on now.
Depending on whether I travel or how busy I am, I rewrite them once a day or twice a day. The more, the better. This helps the mind to stay focus on what you want.