How do you blend in? Are you really like everybody else or are you just good at pretending?
I can’t do it. I spent a lot of time trying but I’ve always been a square peg trying to fit in to a round hole. A square peg wearing shiny, sparkly sequins while everyone else wore beige.
I have this inner knowledge of my feelings that is so strong that it overrides all my other system. If it doesn’t feel “right” I can’t stay. My energy takes action before my brain knows what’s happening. If how I want to feel doesn’t line up with how I’m feeling…. I can’t do it.
Can you? Can you silence the feeling of misalignment or do you just not feel it? Do you have an override switch that I don’t. How do you conform yourself to be accepted by the people around you? Are you better at wearing the camouflage than I am? I used to try, people didn’t buy it.
How do you not feel the people’s pain around you? How do you gain knowledge that someone is hurting and put it away? I can’t. It stays right in the middle of my heart. Sometimes I can’t find where my own pain starts and other people’s begins. How do you keep your thoughts from trying to aide other people’s suffering? Is there a distraction button you have that I don’t? How do you not try to make the world better and then suffer daily because you fell short? I tried to distract myself but I couldn’t do it.
How do you accept mediocrity? How do you make it feel ok to settle? Where’s the dial that allows me to turn down the ever mounting need to grow, discover what’s next, experience life….really live. The curiosity and ambition tug at me like wings begging to be used to fly. How did you stop where you are and find peace there? What is that like? Do you not have wings or do yours just not twitch with the desire to fly higher?
Why I am the one that’s so different? Why is fitting in the key to self worth? Why is settling safe? Why should I fit in to your box? I wasn’t made for captivity. I was created wild.
Maybe the real question is why do so many of you do it? I must have missed the meeting where we all decide to abandon childhood dreams, joy and fun. I must have missed the memo that life is supposed to be about playing it safe, gaining people’s approval and not making any mistakes.
I can’t live that way. I tried. I can’t. How do you?
To my fellow misfits, to the shiny square pegs, the rebels, the runaways and the wild souls…..
What if we aren’t the strange ones? What if they are?
Let’s heal our wounds and show them how to live wild. Maybe we can free them too.
Wild Love & Twitchy Wings,
Heather