How do you know you are ready to make a change in your life?
The short answer is you will know when it’s time. Trust in yourself.
Your mind and body will tell you. It will pick at you, reminding you something has to change. The signs are subtle at first. It’s a feeling you can’t quite put a finger on. You know something is wrong, but you aren’t ready to identify what it is exactly.
Over time, the signs will become more obvious. You aren’t sleeping. You’re sleeping too much. You are overeating, or perhaps you’re not eating at all. You are starting to dread the things you once loved. You don’t want to go home. Or you don’t want to leave. You don’t want to participate. You don’t want to show up period. But you do. You force yourself.
Then you start feeling like you can’t. Can’t do the things well you once exceled at. Nothing seems good enough. Self-doubt is creeping in and taking over. You are hearing the voice in your head more and more. No one speaks louder than that voice.
Your mind and body are exhausted and it’s starting to show. You aren’t yourself. You may not fully notice but chances are the people around you are starting to see it. Maybe they will ask you if you’re okay. Often times they won’t.
Eventually your inner voice changes and starts telling you, you deserve better. It becomes stronger than the self-doubt.
When this was me, I didn’t see it in the moment. I was in a hypervigilant state, in overdrive just trying to survive and hold my head above water. I was being emotionally and verbally abused. My blood pressure was dangerously high. I wasn’t eating much. I had a short fuse. Everything seemed like a slight or attack. I didn’t smile or laugh easily like I used to. And I was exhausted. Sleeping 2 hours a night, stressing over what I knew was going to happen the next day. I would drive around for hours not wanting to go home. Yet, I had nowhere else to go. I was struggling.
The voice inside my head was getting louder. Self-confidence was starting to overtake self-doubt. It was telling me I deserved better. That I did not deserve to be treated this way. That I had done nothing to bring this on. The way I was being treated had nothing to do with me. Slowly I started listening to that voice. It was getting so loud I couldn’t ignore it.
I started to get clarity and strength from my inner voice. I was listening.
Often times there are defining moments. My moment came when I was being physically threatened, crouched in a corner afraid. I remember thinking, what is happening. Then came my inner voice to give me strength. It was telling me; you are not someone to cower in fear, stand up for yourself dammit. That was the moment that pushed me forward to make a change and take my power back.
I started building my team to protect myself and gain strength. I found a therapist to help me get stronger and realize my worth. Soon I found an attorney who advised me on steps to take to get out safely. Eventually I hired a Coach to put me back together and focus on moving forward in my new life.
If this sounds familiar, start building your team step by step. Your dedicated team will help you be strong and remind you that you deserve better. Listen to the voice that tells you that you deserve better. You know you do. The voice that tells you otherwise is not your voice. I repeat, it is not your voice.
If you need help, please contact me through my website and I will help you build your team, regardless of whether I am on it. Your self-worth and dignity are too important. You are too important.