As a clinical hypnotherapist and women’s mentor I see countless women come to me with stress, anxiety and overwhelm only to find that the very root is a deep feeling of not being enough that has stemmed from events in their early childhood. These needn’t be cataclysmic events, in fact they are often innocuous moments that have left a deep imprint in the mind and also the body.
A massive 80% of women in the U.K suffer with low self esteem – a shocking statistic and one that needs our attention. The media, magazines, Hollywood films and the general rhetoric of society doesn’t help us to recover this debilitating mindset that stops us from living a carefree and happy life as we are consumed with never accepting ourselves for who we are. We are striving for this unattainable goal that we are sold – pert breasts, full hair, long lashes, success at work, nailing motherhood, and the list goes on, but underneath it all many women feel not enough and the rhetoric feeds that very belief.
In order to heal this limiting mindset, we must turn our own focus on it and firstly admit that we feel not enough. We have to admit that we have been seeking an external validation from either our partner telling us we are gorgeous, our work when we get the promotion, motherhood when we feel like we have nailed the day and it’s all run smoothly. We have to admit that we have been numbing it by keeping busy, scrolling through social media, wine o’clock or even other people’s drama or not enoughness. And then we have to admit that we are tired of this mindset and commit to change.
Our beliefs are there to be changed, just because we were fed a belief when we were young, it doesn’t mean you have to continue holding it until you die. You were told when you were young that Father Christmas and the tooth fairy existed but you later found out the truth and changed your belief. It’s time now to change the limiting mindset of ‘I’m not enough’ to a limitless belief that ‘you are enough just the way you are. You always were enough. Everything you have is enough and everything you do is enough.’
The benefits of opening up your mind to this new belief and way of thinking are tenfold. Not least because life just gets easier. No longer are you bound by what other people think of you, whether they like you or not, whether you’re doing the right or wrong thing, wearing the right clothes, taking the best job or earning enough money. When you feel enough you finally take the pressure off the unrealistic expectations you have on yourself. You can finally unburden yourself from the weight of other people’s expectations and release yourself from the shackles that have kept you trapped and prevented you from pursuing that new job or even career, following your dreams, setting up that business, embarking on that hobby or taking that risk. So many emotional benefits await when you change your inner dialogue to one that embraces you and your wholeness.
There are physical benefits from releasing this old belief too. I have countless women who come to me with ailments manifesting in the womb; fibroids, thrush, endometriosis, irregular or painful periods, menopausal symptoms and infertility and when I journey with them through their subconscious (the place we store every single memory or moment to date) almost every single issue in the womb is caused by a deep-rooted feeling of not enough, along with feelings of shame linked to our womanhood and female parts. When we heal this old out-dated belief it makes way for better emotional and physical health.
Society these days is still coming around to the mind body connection but it’s real and you hold the power to your health. The body wants to heal, it is designed to work at its optimum capability, you just need to nudge it in the right direction. Our bodies are constantly rejuvenating and the body you had a year ago is no longer the same on a cellular level as over the past 365 days your organ’s cells, skin, eyes have all renewed. With this in mind when you bring your awareness to an illness or ailment and get to the emotional root of its manifestation, you can heal it incredibly quickly.
I had a client who had suffered from thrush for over 10 years and it flared up every time she had sex and would last weeks. When we worked on getting to the root it was all linked to her father shutting down her sexuality and womanhood with the shame he had carried and projected on to her leaving her with a feeling and belief that she wasn’t enough. This had manifested in thrush as a way of preventing her from embodying her body and sexuality as a woman. This cleared up once she accepted herself and her beauty and womanly self. This has very much been the same with clients who come to me with fertility issues, it’s so often linked to a deep-rooted belief that they will be abandoned, often by their partner, but linked back to issues with their father being either emotionally or physically absent and abandoning them as a little girl. The subconscious fear of recreating that feeling of abandonment manifests in a fertility complication which when worked on with tools such as hypnosis can be released. Fibroids and endometriosis are also conditions that I have found time and time again with my clients have developed as a physical way of protecting them from old feelings from childhood that have been buried and supressed over the years and manifested in the womb, the seat of a woman’s essence and power, and consequently led them to feel powerless and prevented them from living pain free or with the ability to successfully get pregnant.
In order to allow flow within our bodies, minds and wombs we must understand our past programming, go back and visit our childhood memories that have stored themselves in our cells memory and finally release them. It’s time to stop looking externally and finally make that commitment as a woman to heal our out-dated beliefs that has stopped us living our full potential physically and mentally. When we do this, we create a body and environment for optimum health to thrive. No one can do this for us, we must choose to change this and as we do, we inspire others around us to do the same. Remember: You always were enough, everything you have is enough and everything you do is enough. Enough is enough of not feeling enough and welcome your new belief with open arms. Happiness and good health await you when you don your new-found mindset and belief.
If you want to live a happier life and want to flourish as a woman check out Cat Raincock’s debut book Born to Shine – The Modern Woman’s Guide to a Happier Life. Available from Amazon and all major book shops.