In the laidback, beach-bordering suburbia of Torrance, I spent a lot of my time outside in the backyard tending to my small garden of tomato plants, carrots, corn, and lime trees. I was a 90s baby, and the early 2000s was my childhood. TV time was limited, and advanced technology ceased to exist in my days.

My parents were surprised to find that I had a green thumb, and a love for growing and nurturing things. What they didn’t know was that I spoke to them, watered them daily, told them how great they would become, and petted them lovingly like they were my pets.

“You’re going to grow big and strong. You’re healthy and happy. You’re a beautiful corn plant and you’ll grow so tall!” I’d giggle and dance around my garden. I had simple wants back then, and I just wanted my garden to grow and thrive. I nurtured them with all my heart, and they flourished.

That was my first encounter of a different kind of manifestation. It took me years to realize that I could manifest what I wanted and more.

“Spiritual Manifestation is the theory that through regular meditation and positive, constructive thought, you can make your dreams and desires become reality. Spiritual manifestation revolves around the New Age concept of the Law of Attraction,” says Amanda Isbitt.

I view manifestation similar to nurturing and growing plants. A lot of it is what you pour into a thought, a goal, or a dream. It takes patience and time, but you can think of it as energies being gathered. The kind of energies you gather is dependent on you; I encourage you to gather only positive energies. While I don’t want to wax poetry, I understand why people love adorning those cheesy lines as home decor — it serves as a reminder to fix your mindset or put you in a better mental capacity.

How I Manifest and Move Forward

I spend time alone writing and thinking to dig deeper of myself. This helps me understand what I want.

Writing is cathartic for me. It is when I am journaling at night beside a lit candle where I can dump all my true thoughts and I will reread them in the future, looking for patterns when I feel like my vision is misaligned.

Unfortunately, speaking to too many people may results in your own watered down thinking. I have found that others will prescribe what they often think is best for you; this is when you need to be careful because they have their own biases and conclusions. In fact, I prefer conversations with people who ask hard questions and make you think deeper. I once spoke to a career coach and friend. He said, “I never like to prescribe and I never give advice unless it’s directly asked. Instead, I asked pointed questions you need to ask answer yourself to find what you’re looking for.”

I found that immensely valuable. When you don’t know what you want, how will the universe send it your way? Too many people want change, but they don’t know what they want.

A good example: I want to work for a big tech company with kind colleagues and work life balance.

A bad example: I want a good job.

Once you know what you want, ask yourself what’s next? What are the steps you’ll take to get there? What do you need to get there? Mapping out your journey is helpful and shows a clear path of what you need to take.

I have learned to love myself, encourage myself, and treat myself as a friend.

Similar to the garden I had as a kid, people grow under the right nurturing and love. We are often our biggest critic and the most hardest on ourselves. It took me years to love myself, but I realized I was the only one who could make things happen for myself, so why not treat myself better. That was a pivotal moment for me, and I nurtured my own confidence.

I try to not be hard on myself — I understand though I may receive what I want, it may not be holistically perfect so I will need to approach everything with an open mind.

I no longer leave behind mass destruction or wish evil upon others.

Looking back, I was quite destructive in my teenage years. I‘ve ruthlessly burned bridges and left without looking back. I was nice, but I wasn’t kind — I didn’t bother with the repercussions of my actions and that hurt a lot of people. Growing older, I realized the importance of leaving things as they are or making it better. You don’t want to personally create negative energies as it can follow you around, and if someone else in your proximity has created that negative energy, you want to distance yourself from it as much as possible.

Keep your energies clean and bright.

I practice gratitude and patience. I practice giving and nurturing.

I feel like this is of the utmost importance. I don’t believe in only taking and receiving — practicing gratitude keeps you humble and content in the moment. It’s okay to strive for more, but just as important as appreciating the life you have in front of you. Patience is important as well; you’ll be discouraged at times, but good things take time and effort.

When I have manifested what I want, I have found one of the many joys in life is sharing what I’ve learned and helping others find their way too. If you only take, there will be a deficit in the balances — the universe will right itself and take away from you.

I dream, but I also execute.

I had a chat with my good friend Brij, and I told him that I set certain parameters and triggers for my life planning. For the sake of uncertainty, I set parameters on what is comfortable for me and having a general guide gives me something to work towards instead of spending my energy panicking about the future. If this happens, then I can move forward to this. When I know what I want, I go out and work towards it. Dreaming is great, but action is also needed.

For example, I will stay in Singapore for three more months unless I find a great tech job that fulfills the following criteria XXX.

Honestly, I used to raise an eyebrow at those claiming to be able to manifest what they want, but now I realized I’ve been doing it most of my life, just in my own way. Manifestation is gathering up the right energies and trusting yourself and the process that the universe rewards who those are kind, persistent, and truthful to their self.

Emily is a US expat currently living in Singapore to learn about the tech communities growing in Asia. She has worked 4+ years in dev relations, community management, and event marketing within the tech and travel industry. Her time at OmniSci, Google and Booking.com gave her cross-functional expertise. In her free time, she is the Founder of Asian Female Nomads and documents her life journey on Instagram at The Fang Girl. You can watch her YouTube vlogs.