I know what you are all thinking by now.  Some have asked.  If you haven’t said it, you’ve probably thought it.  So, NO.  I am not dating my ex’s wife’s ex-husband although we all have all been living together for seven weeks!  

I’m also not getting back with my ex and his wife isn’t getting back with her ex and there are no late night rendezvous’ between any (though I sure hope my ex and his wife have found time and privacy!)

There are, however, really interesting things we have learned about this whole living experience. While my ex and I have had a mostly amicable and decent relationship since we separated eight years ago, I wouldn’t say we were friends.  As with most separations and divorces, we have had many challenges, fights, arguments, and explosions.  But we were always respectful and no matter what the challenges have been, we have always been able to come to agreements related to our kids, their schedules, and being flexible in helping each other if we had a work or schedule conflict.  

We have fought about money.  We have fought about things we didn’t like about the other or didn’t agree with in regards to tone, discipline and partners.  But we were always able to do right in front of our kids.  We have always been able to be in the same place and to say hello (though many times with limited eye contact).  We have been able to be kind and civil and cheer the kids on at their sports together.  Our kids will also say, especially when they know there are others who don’t have the relationship that we do, that they are glad their parents are friends.  Or so they thought.  We have done well at faking our friendship.

But the thing about quarantining together is that I actually think we might be friends now.  If you didn’t know us, and spent time with us, you would just think we were longtime friends.  You would never think we ever dated or were married.  You would never think we were faking any friendship.  We have real conversations.  We bounce thoughts and ideas off of each other.  I ask him to take photos for me for my work.  Our extended families shared a zoom holiday.   I have introduced him to virtual dates.  (Really! ūüôā 

We have had a few fights  although the stress level has remained low during those.  They never got out of hand.  I think that’s because we now can.  They haven’t escalated.  They haven’t been hurtful.  They have been regular disagreements about parenting or things that annoy us, as one would have with someone they are living with for seven weeks.  

I’ve sent only one text threatening to leave.  That’s quite an accomplishment for this amount of time with your ex-spouse.  I don’t know what life will be like after our blended quarantine; but I do know for sure we won’t go backwards.  I know we can have calm conversations.  I know we can help each other.  I know I can count on him. I won’t worry about sharing information that could backfire.  I now really know I chose a perfect ex-husband.  I now really only know that after living with him eight years after we separated.

Author(s)

  • Denise Albert

    Co-Founder

    The MOMS & Mamarazzi

    Denise Albert is an award-winning journalist, television producer and Co-Founder of The MOMS (TheMOMS.com‚Ĩ) and Mamarazzi Celebrity Events.¬† She is a Journalist, Cancer Survivor and Activist.¬† Denise is a Former Producer at Good Morning America, and Former President and Executive Producer at David Blaine Productions.¬† ¬†She was the Co-Host of MOMS & The City on NBC's Digital Television Platform and Co-Host of The MOMS on SiriusXM Radio and Mamarazzi on People.com. The MOMS created the first ever mom-focused town hall series called Mamarazzi.¬†The ever-popular¬†Mamarazzi¬ģ events give influential¬†moms¬†and media access to celebrities in a town-hall¬†discussion while¬†partnering¬†with top consumer brands.¬† Mamarazzi guests have included Emmy and Oscar winners, Sarah Jessica Parker,¬†Will Smith, Nicole Kidman, Tina Fey, Hugh Jackman and Goldie Hawn.¬† To date she has executed over 300 Mamarazzi events.   Albert is also an Advocate for Breast Cancer and has shared her story on People.com and had an on-going series at GoodHousekeeping.com.¬† Denise speaks at Medical Conferences, Charity Events and other organizations on a variety of topics about her journey including alongside Mariano Rivera as keynote for his recent charity event. ¬† When Denise was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in December, 2015, she felt lucky to be diagnosed early after she found a lump just months after a mammography (she had received a letter saying it was normal but didn't read further to see that it said she had dense breasts and may want further testing).¬† She had a lumpectomy in January and was fortunate enough to share her story on People.com‚Ĩ.¬† Denise used social media and her platforms with The MOMS along with an ongoing series at GoodHousekeeping.com‚Ĩ to continue to write about her journey.¬† ‚Ĩ‚Ĩ‚Ĩ‚Ĩ‚Ĩ‚Ĩ   Denise's video with the TSA after a horrific experience at LAX went viral and Denise is using that to educate others on the best ways to travel with illness.¬† Denise is in touch with hundreds of patients and families across the country and believes this answers the "why me?" and is passionate about raising awareness for Breast Cancer and helping others. ¬† ¬†The MOMS created, produced and hosted, Strut, The Fashionable Mom Show that presented three times at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week at Lincoln Center.¬† Denise contributed to The HufÔ¨Āngton Post Parents and The HufÔ¨Āngton Post Divorce, where she wrote a series called, "Divorce Diaries". Denise previously served as a feature reporter for NBA-TV and a producer at Inside Edition.¬† Denise is a better mom because she works and a better worker because she‚Äôs a mom. She lives in NYC with her two boys, Jaron and Jaylan.