“Grow Up !!” If I had a penny for every time someone said that to me, I’d be fairly rich! I always wondered what does it even mean? I will grow up with every passing day anyway — Duh! Why in such a hurry? Why do people keep saying that? I thought to myself I was so sorted in my head, they were the one’s who are stupid. I felt they were like annoying flies buzzing in my ear, forever critical and then they would say the 2 most annoying words “GROW UP”
All through my adolescence, it felt like a Warzone, a phase which I couldn’t wait to get out of! I prayed to God to make me an independent adult soon so that I am not answerable to so many people. I already had a million obstacles to overcome like constant peer pressure, academics, extra-curricular activities, issues with friends, crushing on boys, family stuff and my own body going through so many changes. I am sure you can relate to the fact that every problem in your teenage years seems as complicated as running an entire nation!I was a rebel. I knew the only people who would tolerate my rebellion was my family. In the outside world, I was busy competing and trying not to be just another face in the crowd. At home, I was the Queen, not such a great one but yes, I ruled this kingdom. As I entered the house I threw my bag, shoes and feet up in the air!! Here — I am the only one! No Competition! That’s the thing about family — you are special to them no matter who or what you are.
The first time I hugged my mom tight and cried my heart out was after my first heartbreak. My mother hated my boyfriend all throughout our courtship of 5 years. I always thought I was very clever and all my schemes were meticulously planned and she was never aware of anything. Oh Dear! I was so so Wrong! She knew everything, she read me a like book and when the time was right her taunts came flying like bullets. Mothers truly make the best detectives.
That’s the thing about my Mother, she is a funny sarcastic woman and her humor has so much truth in it, that it often makes you go red with embarrassment and defenceless. But when I was crying a river, at that moment, she did not tell me “I told you so”. She just held me and let me cry. She nursed my broken heart and I could see she felt the pain I did. That was the first instance I remember where I started to see my mother beyond being a strict detective. It surprised me that she didn’t rub in the fact that I was so wrong about my boyfriend and was so understanding thereafter. I guess that is what Grown Up’s do — ‘Not Rub It In’. I think that was my first step into the world of being a grown up — my first heartbreak.
As time passed, the people I thought were annoying flies buzzing in my ears, turned out to be the only people who sung melodious tunes and stood by me through thick and thin. The most difficult relationships became the most organic, effortless and my biggest strength. This happened because as I began to put my foot outside the door in the real world, did I actually get a taste of how harsh and ruthless it is out there.
The punches life throws at you, really makes you re-evaluate your choices in life. I don’t think we would ever learn to value anything or anyone if we didn’t go through suffering or pain and step outside our comfort zone. Throughout your life, you meet people who cause you pain and then there are those who help you heal. Both are equally important. I consider myself very lucky to have some solid friendships in my life.
This past year made me realize that the pain we undergo, the flaws we are so conscious about — are so beautiful in their own way. Problems are just opportunities in disguise. They make us who we are. “The good Lord made us all out of iron. Then he turns up the heat to forge us into steel” ~ Marie Osmond
I indeed started understanding what “GROWING UP” means. You can fight with the world and win by hook or crook. You can run and hide from everyone. But how do you win a battle with yourself? How do you feel at peace at the end of the day? You cannot hide from yourself, Can you?? Growing up is the hardest thing to do. It has nothing to with age or time. Growing up makes you question your beliefs, your mental and emotional fitness to take responsibility of your actions and their consequences. It is the most difficult yet the most beautiful transformation. There is a certain peace in growing up and evolving.
15 things you experience when GROWING UP!!!
1) You start to get comfortable and confident about who you are
2) You accept your shortcomings and become more open to feedback
3) You no longer enjoy partying every weekend and rather spend quality time with your loved one’s
4) As time passes, your circle of friends become smaller, all the bad apples are filtered out and you are left with a handful few who become your world
5) You have zero tolerance to BULLSHIT
6) You become closer to your family more than ever
7) You realize the importance of having a stable career and the value of hard earned money
8) You look over and above superficial qualities in your partner. You handle situations with the maturity it deserves instead of throwing tantrums like a stubborn teenager
9) You learn to live even after the death of your loved ones
10) You start to change your lifestyle and become more health conscious
11) You understand and treat people with compassion and becomes less judgmental. You rise above the pettiness.
12) Relationships are not as rosy as in the movies and there is no happily ever after
13) You only get what you put in, there are ‘No Free Lunches’ or ‘Shortcuts’
14) Wasting your life by always blaming others isn’t going to get you anywhere in life
15) You accept that life will always not be as you expect it to be, nonetheless we learn to smile and make the best out of situations and try to become best versions of ourselves.
So, grow up but take your time. I don’t know why I was in such a hurry to grow up. Keep the child in you alive — Life will anyway force you to strap on your seatbelts and be ready for a roller coaster ride you have very little control over. I still love doing things I did when I was a kid. I still hate sharing my ice-cream, I still love stealing my sister’s clothes, I still love being fed by my mom and life is incomplete without her scolding. I still love riding a bicycle, getting all dirty on the beach, feel excited when opening a gift and Oh that shiny wrapper! I live for these little things, they make me really really happy.
GROW UP BUT TAKE A SECOND, SINK IT ALL IN — DON’T BE IN A HURRY, FOR THIS TIME WON’T COME AGAIN!
Keep Smiling,
Chin up!
Originally published at thehappinessvault.com on January 31, 2017.