Life’s a party. Show up dressed to the nines and leave a lasting impression.
This has been my motto for years. In fact, my tagline was, “I came to live life out loud.”
Living life out loud, that’s precisely what I did. Or so, I thought I was doing. But, after a tragic turn of events and a long look into the mirror, I realized I was alive, not necessarily living, and was, quite frankly, just loud.
Nearly three years ago, the facade of my life really began to crack, the hinges of my truth started to creak. I had been living a lie and hadn’t even realized it. My father died, and everything I thought I understood about living and maneuvering life successfully became a muddle.
I hadn’t been living as loud as I thought. By my own definition, to live life out loud means pushing the envelope, achieving my perceived impossible, breathing deeply, truly cherishing each moment, and wearing polka dots and stripes. Together.
It turns out I was dealing with some sort of delusion, casually going after the matters of my heart, and ferociously pouring myself into those things that merely served as time stealers and crafty distractions. I am sure I am not the first nor the only person to have encountered this.
I was living one life in my head but waking up to a completely different reality. Yes, I did chase my dreams. I was born a writer and have always known. If you ask me on any given day the cliched question, “If money wasn’t a factor, what would you do.” You are guaranteed to get an answer which embraces a true writer’s life. It would be something along the lines of decorating the nooks and crannies of the world, writing, exploring, laughing, smiling, and eating anything I wanted without worrying about what part of my body it would go to.
To be completely honest, I do the latter now, unapologetically.
I wrote a book or two, but I had aspirations of sitting in the writer’s room with the likes of Shonda Rhimes and Mara Brock Akil.
Well, why was I not doing all of that?
The answer’s simple yet complicated.
In short, I didn’t really know how and I was afraid to jump off the deep end. So, I did just enough to keep the wicker burning.
Just enough is never enough. A vivid flame is worth more than a smoldering fire on any day.
Coping with my father’s death brought about a lot of self-reflection and soul searching. I’ve learned that being alive is truly a gift from your Creator, and living your best life is the most extraordinary form of gratitude.
Death has a way of making things black and white. Here are the most important lessons I learned.
Go For the Gold in life, whatever that may be to you
It’s often said that death is the greatest motivator. Well, it is. It’s no secret as to why that statement is so true. Absence will remind you of what you had and lost or tried and failed.
My dad was in my life my entire life. He was just my dad. I wasn’t really a daddy’s girl; in fact, I drove my mother crazy, pulling at her coattail daily, hour upon hour. Yet, I always knew that my dad was there. The last days leading up to his expiration, as I actively watched him vanish before my eyes, I realized there would be a moment when him being there with me and not would vary by half a second.
That was scary; what was even more difficult was that outside of immense grief among my family, life would continue.
The world would continue to spin as it had been.
It was here where I came to the clear understanding of one fundamental truth: Life continues whether you are on board or not, so Live without restraints because this is not a dress rehearsal.
Go for what you want because there is a guaranteed time when that aspect is no longer possible. It should be your mission to use up the goods of life because they were placed here to be purposeful.
Life itself is a risk, and there is no math involved.
I’m not a fan of the phrase, ‘a calculated risk.’
Life itself is a risk. You are here for a specific time, so live it accordingly. Live boldly and follow your passions. When running after the matters of the heart in your life, your dreams, your goals, no matter how astronomical they are, lock hands with those you love and go for it. Take the calculations out of the risk when following your heart.
Removing the calculations does not mean negating having a plan. There is a need for a plan because a dream without one is a hallucination. However, recognize when you’ve veered away from the plan and have begun procrastinating by a fancier term.
Individuals were sitting next to you last year, last month, or even last week who are no longer here. They had plans and ideas that they may or may not have acted upon. The saddest part of the story is that life may never know how valuable their contributions could have been.
In your rawest form, you are equipped with the necessary tools to live out your hopes, dreams, and desires.
There are things along the way that you will gather to define the calling and sharpen the vision, but none of it will indeed be required for you to get started to be your best you.
Decide you will make life good to the very last drop.
Total loss is scary, but deathbed disappointment has got to be more frightening. Coming to terms with the emotions around my father’s passing forged a new perspective of life from what I previously believed it to be. It gave me the genuine meaning of Live Life out loud.
To borrow a line from Hamilton, History has its eyes on you.
So, what are you going to do?