My wife yelled at me again.

She’s been doing this for years but last February, she was mad!

Yes, I got married earlier than my peers, but it’s no one’s business.


Many youths in their late 20’s avoid early marriage because marriage needs (financial, emotional, psychological and spiritual) is daunting. It’s even tougher for me who’s married and blessed with 3 kids. But I love it and would repeat it again if I were to start all over.

The only problem is that my wife yells at me all the time.

THE REASON: “Why are you always busy?” she’d scream.

She feels she’s married part-time because we hardly had time together. The kids hated this.

The truth is that my journey to financial stability is depriving my family of the connections they deserve. I work two jobs and a freelance business. Sadly, the pay couldn’t comfort the high bills and that’s nerve-wracking.

After that February, I thought to myself, “What if I die today, what would I leave my family with? Money or Precious memories?”

I choose myself and did some little behavior twist. Though I still do my jobs, now I’m a super father – happier and fulfilled.

I stopped doing important things alone, I got involved in everything at home. From Sleeping, Talking, Eating, Playing, Planning to Praying.

Here’s how I did it.

Sleep Together

Look. This is the best therapy for stress.

No matter how bulky the job is or how occupied my schedule is, I go to bed with my wife.

We’d talk and cuddle until sleep slips us away.

Beyond sex, hugging your wife tenderly rekindles your emotional connectivity. Both souls’ floats in love each time you breathe in harmony.

Want to live long?

Sleep together.

It ultimately boosts your physical and mental wellbeing and reduces risks and heart disorders.

Talk Together

We talked all the time. Obviously not only on the bed but at any time and place.

WhatsApp is a great tool for us. We’d leave each other little chats and voice notes during the day so as not to interrupt each other’s work.

And when I step into my living room, I say bye to the internet.

My old Symbian phone has a special sim. It never rings. When it’ll, then heaven is about to fall.

Eat Together

If someone had told me this would change my life totally, I would have argued.

Eating together with my family puts me on a serious check. I wouldn’t want to be a bad example to my kids.

Now I eat healthily, save money and model better-eating manners. Plus, I get the chance to display those cooking skills my mother taught me.

Cooking is like a weekend ritual for me. Most Saturdays are my turn.

It’s always been a wonderful and fun-filled experience for my kids. What more could I ask for?

Play Together

Sometimes I get carried away with work that I wouldn’t realize that little trick from my daughter was a play, I’ll just respond harshly. This unconscious attitude retracts my kids from me.

These days, I’m a productivity champion. I actualize most of my deliverables before leaving the office.

So when I get home.

We do my kids homework, have dinner, play around the house, then, we go to bed.

Plan Together

Sadly, we didn’t have any plans before we got married – Blame it on the age.

We were young, naïve and stupidly in love.

But, it’s never too late to start anything.

We started planning everything including the tiny in between like creating individual “me” time.

Our finance, family meetings, and sexual life are going very fine.

We wish we’d planned these earlier.

Pray Together

A colleague once said, “I can’t marry someone that we can’t hold hands together to pray.”

That statement didn’t resonate until the minute I recalled it.

For 20 minutes every day.

10 minutes in the morning and another 10 minutes before we lie to sleep.

We’ll sit still to connect with our pre and post-existence. We learned this from Pico Iyer and it has been a major spiritual boost for us.

As love surrounds February, it presents us with loops to make corrections in our romantic lives.

Have you found yourself in this case before?

How did you salvage it?


  • Sodiq A.

    edTech | Content Marketing + Product Management


    Sodiq Ajala is a former classroom teacher and educational management consultant who now spends his days helping education stakeholders create edTech solutions. As a freelance writer, he documents his work process to teach organizations how to embrace digital transformation, and his publications in 1,2,3,4,5 have helped over 20,000 people. Check out his email course, Digitalize it Yourself, Read more here, and connect with him on LinkedIn.