As an introvert (who didn’t realize I was an introvert until my twenties) I grew up feeling VERY shy and far from confident. I thought “confidence” meant fitting in with the popular crowd – even better if you were the center of attention like the head cheerleader or lead in the school play. I figured the “confident” kids in class were the first to raise their hands and the ones who always seemed to have an answer when the teachers called on them. As I got older and stepped into the “real world” beyond grade school, I thought material possessions & shiny accomplishments like promotions & bonuses belonged to the charismatic, out-going, “confident” people at work, definitely not the employees who were quietly working behind the scenes…

Suffice to say, at a young age, I subconsciously decided confidence was a trait for extroverted people. I honestly thought “being confident” was all about how you were perceived externally – how attractive you are, how firm your handshake is, how loud your voice is in a meeting, how strong of an impression you made on new people, how on-trend your outfit is, etc.

When I started to learn about self-help & personality types in my early 20’s, I was delighted to discover how wrong I was about what true confidence is (hint: it’s not just for extroverts)

“Confidence means feeling sure of yourself and your abilities — not in an arrogant way, but in a realistic, secure way. Confidence isn’t about feeling superior to others. It’s a quiet inner knowledge that you’re capable.

Confidence defined in article by Teen’s Health

As the quote above describes, confidence is an internal experience that radiates outwards. When you feel confident inside yourself, others feel that too and it impacts everything you do from how you show up in your career, how you take care of your health, how you treat others, how you allow people to treat you, how you communicate your needs, the list goes on.

If you’re asking yourself “how can I feel more confident as ME” and if you currently feel like confidence is not your strength or you think it doesn’t come naturally to you as an introvert, you’re not alone! The good news is, like many things in life, confidence is not something you’re born with or without, it’s a skill that anyone can learn to develop and grow!

To help you become more confident (no matter where you on your journey) I’ve rounded up nine of my favourite ways I see highly confident introverts showing up:

1️. They’re self-aware; they have a deep understanding of who they are, how they operate, and what they need. Not only do they have the awareness, they also communicate this to the world through action!

2. They listen to themselves and tune into their energy levels. Because one of the true signs of being an introvert is requiring alone time to recharge, they recognize the importance of creating space for themselves and they make it a daily priority.

3. They give themselves time to process information and they don’t pressure themselves to have an answer immediately. They’re comfortable saying “let me get back to you on that” rather than impulsively responding with an answer that doesn’t feel right.

4. They’ve learned not to compare themselves to the loudest or most charismatic people in the room. They use their voice & speak when they have something to say but they don’t feel the need to talk just to be heard.

Their presence is felt even when they say nothing at all.

5. They’re intentional about what they spend their time doing or who they spend it with. They aren’t afraid to say “no” to invitations or opportunities most people would jump at!

6. They connect incredibly well one-on-one and they’re especially gifted at listening, which makes others feel seen & supported in a profound way. This is one of the many reasons introverts make great leaders!

7. They recognize that what lights them up may look different than what other people think is “fun” or “cool” and confident introverts don’t get caught up in keeping up with societal norms or popularity contests.

8. They have a rich, internal world, and when they’re given the opportunity to retreat into their mind, in a quiet environment – they often come up with the most innovative, creative solutions. It’s one of the many superpowers of introverts!

9. Many introverts I know (including myself) love to be the center of attention in a small group, they have no problem taking up space, leading others and sharing their gifts with an intimate group of like-minded people!

How did you feel when you read through that list?

If you’re an introvert looking to cultivate more confidence in your own life, go back, reread the list and start identifying how you currently relate to each of these examples. Did you find yourself strongly identifying with any specific number? Do you desire to embody more confidence in any of those specific ways?

No matter where you are on your confidence journey, remember to have compassion for yourself; it takes courage to look within and do the personal growth work and I promise your efforts will be worth it ways you can’t even imagine.

If you’re a highly sensitive & introverted person desiring to take your confidence to the next level, check out my self-study program The Confidence Course. It may be just what you’re seeking on your path to inner peace & true confidence.

The possibilities for your confidence are endless my introverted friend!


  • Kristy Vail

    Life Coach + Interior Designer, D.I.D

    Kristy Vail Studio Co.

    Kristy specializes in helping highly sensitive people and introverts move into alignment in their personal lives and home environments through thoughtful consulting and mindset coaching. She is also the Podcast Host of Connected with Kristy Vail, which has been featured multiple times on the iTunes New & Noteworthy List. Learn more about her work here + listen to the podcast through this link here.