Believe in Yourself Again | Coach Jan Marie

To believe in yourself, there are a few things you´re going to need…

To start with there´s awareness, understanding and a willingness to look deeper than you may have ever done in the past. That´s why I wrote this post. Do what I ask and I guarantee you will move forward in all three areas.

At the end of this post, I´m going to ask you to think about a question I ask myself, every single day

That said, I don´t want you to think I´m trying to tell you what to think or believe.

These are my thoughts and ideas. My understanding of how the world turns. So, read what I have to say and think for yourself.

Look With The Intent To See

If you never take the time or find the courage to look inside yourself, how can you ever hope to believe in the amazing person you truly are?

In my experience, it´s far too easy to simply follow everyone else´s lead, put everyone else´s needs first, and give more weight to our failures than our successes.

But once we open our eyes and really see, once we begin to ask questions, there is no turning back.

Are You Living Life As One Of The Herd?

Head down…blinders on…trudging along…

Moving, yes, but not really going anywhere?

So many people plod their way through life…they go to school and get a job. They marry and have kids. They cook, clean, live for the weekend and sleep.

Have you ever found yourself wondering “What was I thinking?!” about something you´ve done where you had no idea why you did what you did, said what you said or believed the way you believed?

I know I have.

It´s so easy to put your life on autopilot and plod along with the rest; moving to someone else´s drummer and not to your own.

Then, one day, you look up and think to yourself: How did I get here? You look at your life and are frustrated at all the time you´ve spent being afraid, fearing that you´re not good enough or deserving enough to have the life you´ve always wanted.

So many of us don´t know how we got to where we are because we´ve given in to a lifetime of conditioning. We are bombarded, day in and day out, with messages aimed at influencing how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.

Then, one day, there comes a moment when something causes you to stop, look and question; the moment when you realize it´s time to make a change. Now.

And that can be scary.

Recognizing all the time you´ve spent undermining your own dreams by not believing in your own self-worth.

Not knowing what to do about it is even scarier, still.

Should you just give up on your dream of a joy-filled life? No!

In many ways, I don´t really find it that surprising that so many people are unhappy, distracted, stuck and struggling to live a life they love.

We keep waiting for someone else to tell us what to do and how to do it because we don´t believe and trust in ourselves.

Most of the people in this world live in a permanent state of fear – continually worrying about what others think; if they are good enough; if they even deserve to live a life that is happy, successful and fulfilled.

Look around you. From newspapers, television, internet, social media, and advertising to governments, coaches, religion, friends and family, all of them are vying for your attention and trying to make you believe they know what´s best for you and how you need to live your life.

…constant, subtle subliminal messaging, that´s what it is.

Messages saying:

This is what you should believe and this is how you should think

  • This is how you should act
  • This is how you should look
  • This is what you should be afraid of and this is what´s best for you
  • These are the bad guys and these are the good
  • This is what´s right and this is what´s wrong
  • This is what´s ugly and this is what´s beautiful
  • This is what´s acceptable and this is what´s not
  • This is success and this is failure

Is it any wonder you struggle with trusting and believing in yourself?

I´ve read that we have somewhere in the realm of 80,000 thoughts a day. My question for you is:

How many of those are your own?

And not the thoughts generated from the misleading information being drilled into us on a daily basis.

If you truly want to believe in yourself and your ability to turn your dream into reality, then the first step is to re-evaluate and question everything you´ve learned and been led to believe about yourself and your life as it is now.


I know, what I´m asking isn´t easy. In fact, it could take you and me a lifetime to do.

The good thing is there´s nowhere we have to go and nobody that knows the answer better than we do. The ability to love and believe in ourselves lies within us. 

There are no special techniques you have to learn; no Golden Rule you have to follow.

When you become open to looking, seeing and asking questions, you will finally realize that so much of what you believe about yourself and the world around you is only a reflection of what others want you to believe.

And, once you wake up to that fact, there is no going back.

Every day, at every conscious opportunity, make a point of asking yourself:

“Is this what I truly believe or is it a reflection of what someone else wants me to believe?”

Then really think about the answer.

And, while you´re at it, here are a few more you might want to think about as well:

  • Are these truly my goals or someone else´s?
  • Is this truly what I believe or what someone else wants me to believe?
  • Is this truly what I think, or what someone else wants me to think?
  • Is this truly my definition of success or someone else´s?
  • Are these my regrets or someone else´s?
  • Are these my fears or someone else´s?
  • Is this really my dream or someone else´s?
  • Am I truly trying to fulfill my own wish for happiness or someone else´s?
  • Am I living my own story or someone else´s?

Look back in history and you will find countless examples of just how easy it is to manipulate individuals – even entire societies – into believing and thinking a certain way.


Open your eyes. Become more aware. Question what it is you truly think and believe.

And while you´re at it; here are a few more questions worth finding the answer to:

  • Who am I…really?
  • Where am I in my life now?
  • Where do I want to be?
  • What are my strengths?
  • What have I achieved?
  • Where am I headed?
  • What do I want my life to look like?
  • What are my goals?
  • What are my values?
  • What would make me truly happy?
  • What does success mean to me?

Now, it´s your turn…

Tell me; are your beliefs about yourself, yours or someone else´s?

I can´t wait to hear from you.