I’m a firm believer in setting boundaries, but people don’t always respect them. Recently, I’ve had the need to stand up for myself when people have pushed those boundaries. A few of these instances were related to personal situations where I felt as if I was being disrespected when I tried to express my thoughts. In both cases, I felt that my opinion was ignored and almost dismissed. Another occurrence involved sticking up for myself when I was disrespected by a stranger who got angry and shouted derogatory insults at me in a situation that shouldn’t have escalated to that point if he had simply honored my request.
Because of these incidents, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to how I can stay grounded when dealing with people who don’t understand healthy boundaries or treating others with respect. When you find yourself in that situation, here are some things that can help you navigate and move through the exchange:
- Remain calm. The best thing to do is to not take it personally. Understand that it likely has more to do with them than you. Try to see their point of view and refrain from reacting, using a calm tone and listening.
- Be very direct and to the point. Set what your boundary is without overexplaining it. You don’t really owe anyone an explanation unless you feel that it will help improve a relationship. When dealing with a personal situation, remain compassionate yet still firm.
- Avoid an argument. It’s not worth getting into a fight about it. Don’t debate your boundaries, particularly with a stranger. Walk away if you need to after reaffirming your needs.
- Keep your personal safety in mind. Use your physical distance as a barrier and trust your instincts. If you feel unsafe, remove yourself from the situation immediately.
- Remain as neutral as possible. Lean into politeness and refrain from matching their rudeness or negative energy. By sinking to their level, you will only make yourself feel bad. If you remain polite and courteous, you are the winner no matter what was said.
- Self-reflect and let it go. When someone is rude to you or disrespects you, there is not much that you can do about it. The only thing that you can do is to reflect upon your own actions and identify what you might do to improve in similar situations in the future.
- Practice self-care and reassess any relationships that aren’t serving you. If the interaction was with a stranger, you will likely never see them again but can learn how to deal with other disrespectful individuals. If it was with someone in your circle, think about the relationship and determine whether or not it is a mutually satisfactory and beneficial one.
Expressing your boundaries is an important part of self-care and preservation. Do your best to communicate your needs in a kind and authentic way while remaining firm in your convictions. This practice will serve you well in many aspects of your life.