“What do I want to make with my life?” is the most powerful question you can ask yourself. It gives you the power to define your own unique life purpose. 

When you feel like there is a purpose to life—a reason that you exist in this world—you’ll feel ready to face each day. Even the days that are hard and tiring. 

Which we all know are pretty darn common after abuse.

You won’t feel paralyzed by challenges. Obstacles will no longer seem like the end of the road. In fact, all of life will blossom before you. 

If you give your life purpose, you will forever be sustained by it. 

What does designing your destiny mean after abuse? 

You get to pick what you want to make from the life you’ve been handed, from the trauma you’ve lived through. 

But what really is purpose? Does it always have to be some monumental thing? Some astronomical breakthrough or act of generosity that impacts millions of lives? 

Definitely not! 

Your purpose can be something that seems small. But, in truth, it’s anything but miniscule. 

Each one of us is our own universe. So, if you choose to impact one person’s life, then you are affecting a universe of change. 

When you choose to seek out opportunities to make positive impacts, you are creating a purpose in life.

How to define your own life purpose: 

It’s surprisingly easy to create your own life purpose. You just need to dream a little first. (In fact, I consider this a whole key stage in The Prosperity Path helping survivors like you thrive after abuse.)

How do you wish, if you had no limitations, you could impact another’s life?

Now, accounting for the limitations you do have (fatigue, finances, etc)…how can you manifest a smaller version of that dream? A slight variation on it? 

That will feel incredibly fulfilling. And, when you structure your life around this purpose, you’ll be designing a destiny you love.

You could imagine that your presence will someday shine so bright that people will feel their spirits lift when you say a simple hello. Or plan to adopt a dog and show them the love they deserve. 

Perhaps you want to be the type of person that shows it’s okay to be your authentic self. 

No dream is too small here. 

Ask yourself that question: “What do I want to make with my life?” Then work on developing the skills you need for it and take action.

That’s all it takes. And, truly, this alone will help you thrive, even after it feels like your abuser took everything from you. 

You’re in control of your destiny, of where you go from here. And you’re heading to amazing places.


  • Arien Smith

    Helping Survivors of Abuse Find Joy, Peace, and Prosperity

    Uncover Your Joy

    Arien Smith is the owner of Uncover Your Joy (uncoveryourjoy.com), a company helping survivors of abuse find peace, joy, and prosperity. He founded The Prosperity Path, a powerful 6-stage program to take survivors from struggling each day to living a life they truly love. Take the quiz to find out which stage you're in here!