Finding and keeping love requires you to pay attention to the words you use.

This is consciously creating your future.

Sounds easy, right? The truth is that it is this simple and this hard all at the same time.

Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between past, present or future. It also does not know the difference between what’s real and what’s not real. It just accepts what you tell it.

Here’s an exercise for you to make this real and eliminate FEAR from your vocabulary.

Every time you hear your voice make a statement of “I want” reframe that to a new statement that begins with “I am”. By training your mind to refocus your words to “I am”, you feel positive, and you will attract what you feel, not the negative attributues that surface when you think of not having something.

The thought of “I want” creates an awareness in your subconscious mind that you’re missing something which creates a negative state, a place of lack and fear.

“Wanting” causes you to attach to negative feelings of “being less-than” or “not good enough” or “failure”, or as the Buddha so nicely put it in his Four Noble Truths, “Desire” causes a state of suffering.

A work-around… which requires bravery. And assertion. And clarity. Say…


When you say “I AM”, you are consciously creating your future. You are stating to the world, the universe, your Highest Self, who you are in the form of a statement that’s clear and wise. It’s also simple so the universe can’t be confused about your desire.

It’s through that clarity that life will provide you the means to have what you truly desire.

In this way, shifting from “I want” to “I am” can change the trajectory of your life.

To the best of your ability, make all affirmations in the present tense. This takes the feeling you experience to one of “already having” and feeling satisfied.

For example:

Re-state: “I want to find a partner and have a loving relationship.”

To: “I am now ready to be in a loving relationship.”

If you’re ready for a little more, try this:

Say out loud to yourself: “I feel so relaxed, happy and at peace with my loving partner”. And allow your mind to focus on the feelings of well-being; feeling warm, safe and cozy in this persons arms.

Create a visualization of the sun shining through one of the windows. The smell of flower or perfume that your beloved might be wearing. The smell of a meal being cooked by your sweetie in the other room.

Bring your vision into your senses and breathe it in.

When you eliminate the word “I want” and use the phrase “I am” you begin to think from a place of infinite possibilities and start to talk about your dreams in the present tense.

As a Certified Life Coach, CPCC and Master Neuro-linguistic Programming Practitioner, MNLP. I can help you create the life you know you can have. Want to talk? Schedule your free coaching session. 

This article was originally published at Reprinted with permission from the author.


  • Jacqueline Neuwirth

    Life & Relationship Coach, CPCC, MNLP

    Jacqueline Neuwirth is a Board Certified Life and Relationship Coach, CPCC, MNLP, helping clients get unstuck in every aspect of love and relationships, from finding love, healing from a breakup, learning red flags, healing from a narcissist relationship, deciding if you should stay or leave, or how to improve your current relationship. With over 25+ years of experience consulting with individuals and Fortune 500 Companies, plus a life-long study of psychology her ten-year journey working one-on-one with a zen monk, she combines intuitive wisdom and practical tools to help people stop the cycle of negative patterns in a no-nonsense and deeply authentic way! Transform your love life with personalized guidance and support. Get ready to call in what you want most. Sign up for your free consultation.