My post today is to talk to you about getting the perfect body.

How much time have you spent dieting in your life? How many times have you looked In the mirror and criticized your body? How often do you look at someone else and comment on how thin they are, beautiful they are and fantasize about having what they have?

The weight loss industry is a 60 billion dollar business and it’s in their best interest to keep you dieting, to keep you trying to obtain the perfect body and obsessing about other people’s bodies that you see on social media, TV and in magazines.

Just so you know the average person does 4–5 diets a year trying to create the perfect body and 97% of all diets FAIL. So what are we setting ourselves up for, what are we setting our children up for? The message we send to ourselves on a daily basis is that we are not good enough. We are so focused on what we don’t have, on what we need to change and that what we have right now isn’t good enough we are literally missing out on our own lives.

I own a fitness program and a gym in Santa Barbara, CA. I have been in this business for over 17 years and here is what I know. Losing weight does not cure a negative body image. Losing weight does not cure food issues. Someone can lose all the weight in the world, if they don’t like what they see in the mirror they will never be happy.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say, “If I just lost this last 10 pounds and got my body back I’d be happy.” If a number on a scale is what’s going to make you happy in life you will never truly be happy and I know this from personal experience.

I spent 36 years hating my body, always reaching for my goal weight, always telling myself I need to lose just a little more that my arms could be more toned, my thighs are too big, I still have a belly and once I got to my perfect body I’d be happy. Well, even when I was at my perfect body I never even realized it.

It wasn’t until I focused on how I want to feel instead of how I think I should look that I realized, The perfect body HAPPENS FROM THE INSIDE OUT. NOT THE OUTSIDE IN.

The perfect body starts with three things:

  1. We have to stop comparing ourselves to other people. It doesn’t matter if you want to wear sweatpants or a mini skirt to the grocery store. Who you are is who you get to be in this life. The body that you were blessed with — guess what? You don’t get to switch that with anyone else. We have to stop wasting our energy and time looking at other people and wishing we had what they have. Because you can’t have it. Who you are and the body that you were blessed with is exactly where you are supposed to be. And who you are — guess what: Nobody else gets to be you, and that is your superpower.
  2. You have to love who you are and love what you’ve got. You shouldn’t only like you. You should LOVE you. Because you can’t give other people what you aren’t willing to give yourself. So, self love, self respect, self confidence — why are we looking to get it from other people? It should come from within you. The relationship you have with yourself is the longest relationship you are ever going to have. It’s not selfish to love who you are. It’s not selfish to take care of you. It’s actually your responsibility.
  3. We have to change our “I AM” statement. I know people who the first thing they say when they wake up is, “I’m so tired.” You’re so tired? From sleeping? Really? We are who we say we are. So why is it okay for us to talk so negative to us? We’re all worried about how we treat other people — what about how we treat ourselves? What about the bullying you do to yourself?

We get up and get out of bed saying, “I’m so tired, I’m so stressed.” We get out of the shower and look at ourselves in the mirror and say “I’m fat, I need a flatter stomach.” Could you imagine if every day you got up and instead of saying something negative you said “I am strong, I am confident, I am fit, I am happy, I am healthy, I am worthy?”

Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it. Not always will you feel all these things. But imagine, if the more you said it the more you create that energy. You are who you say you are. So stop bullying yourself. Stop saying you’re fat, you’re slow, you’re not good enough. It’s time to change the way you talk about yourself and change your ‘I AM’ statement.

I am living proof that with these three things that not only will your life change, but your body will change.

I weighed 130 pounds, I was depressed and my entire self value was based on a number on the scale. Every morning I woke up and the first thing I would do is weigh myself. If I gained weight, it was going to be a terrible day. If I had lost weight, it was going to be a good day.

That scale didn’t tell me how loving, caring, passionate I am. None of that. But I let that scale have all of the power in my life.

In the picture on the right where I am wearing a bathing suit I am now 145 pounds that’s fifteen pounds heavier than the picture of me in the overalls. When I wake up every morning I don’t step onto the scale (I don’t even own a scale). I don’t compare myself to other people and I have finally learned that what I have and who I am today is exactly where I’m suppose to be.

I wasted 30-something years not appreciating my body, constantly searching for an unattainable goal of having the perfect body, and I am vowing to not spend the next 30 years doing the same thing — and I’m promising to change the message for my children and the younger generation.

It has to start with US. We have to lead by example so you want to know how to create the perfect body? You already have it. Now you have to own it, you have to live it and you have to love it.

I’m on a mission to create a community that redefines how people look at themselves. Join us here.

Originally published at