Isn’t this the age-old question: How to get what you really want.

People all over the world are continually trying to figure this out. How to get him or her to notice you. How to make more money. How to land that dream job. How to lose the weight. How to be happy. 

But maybe these are all the wrong questions. Or perhaps they aren’t the wrong questions, but the vibration behind them is misaligned with the request.

 In the words of Yung Pueblo, “Happiness is not: getting everything you want or controlling the things around you. Happiness is: the freedom that comes when you stop constantly craving for more, and when you can embrace change without fear.” 

The first part of explaining this comes down to redefining your idea of what you actually want. Happiness is never found in getting everything external that you crave. It might feel good for a short period, but the goal post will always shift. This ever-moving goal-post is apparent in our society’s insatiable need to consume constantly. 

The truth is that happiness or rather deep-seated joy is found in observing and accepting the present moment. And sometimes this is easier than others. It’s easy when things are already going well. It can be challenging when the present moment is wrought with any pain. In moments like that, it would be wise to allow yourself to feel those feelings as they arise. But, when the wave of emotion has come, and you find yourself ready to let it pass, you are prepared to return to accepting what is. From this place of joy in the present moment, chances are you will still desire things and experiences that add to that joy. And that is ok. It’s more than ok. Wanting something that brings you joy is part of the human experience. And there are beautiful things to be had! However, the difference is that when you desire things from a place of internal joy, those things are merely enhancing the inner joy that is already inherent within you. You aren’t looking for things, people and experiences to replace something that is missing. Furthermore, the things you seek to enhance your feelings of well-being are likely things that are also more of a benefit to the world around you—food that nurtures your body, for example, or shoes made of quality material. 

Getting what you truly want when you operate from a place of internal joy and peace (ironically, through accepting and loving where you are already), is much easier than getting what you desire from any other internal state. Like attracts like. When your internal vibration is higher, and you deliberately place your intent upon that which you seek, all that is in line with your inner self will be drawn to you. There is no other way. 

So if you find yourself wishing you had something or wondering why you aren’t getting the things you want, try to remember that it’s never really about that thing at all. And yes, you can work as hard as you possibly can to achieve what you might deem a successful life. And it may happen for you. But chances are, what you will forgo in achieving your dreams by way of that process is your internal calm and possibly your sanity. It’s not to say that action isn’t part of what is needed to get what you want. But there is a much easier way that starts and ends with yourself and the vibration you emit. 

In the words of Lala Deliah, “The universe knows you’re ready by your vibration.” Rather than ask the question “How can I get what I want?”, what would make things much easier for you would be to ask yourself instead, “Who do I need to become to get what I want?” And as you become who you need to be to attract that which you seek to you, you’ll probably realize that what you wanted all along is much different than what you initially thought. And you’ll see that what you want is something that nurtures you, uplifts you, and enhances who you are at your core. So for that reason alone, it is worth the process. Too often, people spend entire lifetimes chasing things they thought they wanted, only to realize that in the end, it was all wrong. And you and every other being on this planet are here to align yourself with what is right and true to you and to expand who you really are more and more each day.