As we move past the recent Vice Presidential Debate and into the final month of the Election Season, political discussions among friends, family, and colleagues are becoming increasingly prominent. I’ve noticed this trend in my practice as well. As Election Day approaches, people often become more entrenched in their beliefs—sometimes even radicalized. It’s these radicals, both on the left and the right, who can be particularly challenging to engage with, as reasoning with them often feels impossible. I’ve witnessed this personally and observed it in many of my patients. Engaging with a radical can feel like an unwinnable battle, while choosing not to engage may leave you feeling weak or regretful.
Here are some tips for dealing with radicals in your life:
- Avoid Labels and Focus on Ideas: Resist the temptation to label someone as a “Crazy Liberal” or “Alt Right.” Such labels can escalate tensions and create an “us” vs. “them” dynamic. Instead, focus on specific ideas and policies, and challenge those.
- Maintain Respect: You don’t have to agree with everything your friend, colleague, or relative says, but it’s important to respect their perspective. Acknowledging differing views can reduce tension and foster a more civil dialogue. You might say, “I know we have different views on this topic, but I’m glad we can still be friends.”
- Start with Common Ground: Identify areas of agreement, even if it’s just a shared goal. For instance, both sides may want to address inequality but disagree on methods. Starting from common ground can reduce hostility and pave the way for a more productive conversation.
- Set Clear Boundaries: Given the intensity of political feelings today, it’s important to establish firm boundaries to keep discussions from becoming overly charged. If things heat up, you might say, “I respect your passion, but I’d prefer not to discuss politics right now.” You can be assertive without being confrontational. If the conversation veers into extreme ideology, you might respond with, “I understand your perspective, but we need a balanced approach that considers multiple viewpoints.”
- Keep Your Cool: When discussing politics, especially with someone who holds strong views, strive to stay calm and avoid getting emotionally involved. A composed response can help diffuse the intensity of their argument.
- Stick with Facts: Relying on facts can help manage your emotions and create a more rational, compelling argument. Avoid hyperbolic statements like “Trump will lead us into World War III” or “The Democrats will take your guns away,” as these only heighten anxiety. Instead, base your discussion on logic and data rather than opinions from extreme media sources, shifting the conversation to a more grounded debate.
Finally, remember, that not every discussion needs to end in victory. If someone is deeply entrenched in their beliefs and the conversation isn’t progressing, it’s okay to step back and say, “It’s clear we see things differently, so let’s leave it here.” After all, sometimes it simply isn’t worth it to win the battle but lose the war.