You would think that your heart wouldn’t hurt when your relationship ended months ago. You would think that you could easily move on and find someone new. You would think the sudden burst of tears would be gone, but no, nothing seems easy. You struggle to get out of bed in the morning, you drink and smoke too much at night, and the interactions with other people all feel like a blur. You tell yourself, “get it together, it’s just a broken heart” but it feels like so much more than that. Truth be told, it should take you however long you need to mend a broken heart. Broken hearts actually lead to many issues in a person such as depression, withdrawal, weight gain or loss. The feeling of confusion, loneliness, and stress swim throughout your mind, and you wonder if you will ever heal. The secret is that you will heal and here’s how. 

  1. Stop idolizing your past relationship. Many times after a breakup, it is easy to remember all the special moments that made your relationship seem so great. You forget about the fighting, the lies, or the cheating and you tell yourself that your relationship was the greatest thing to ever happen to you. Sit for one moment and think. Think closely about the problems you faced in your past relationship. Try to understand where the cracks in the foundation started, and what made it shatter. Being self-aware is vital to healing your heart, and takes a lot of strength. However, knowing where it all went wrong can help you find closure within, and understand there is someone better waiting for you. The right relationship isn’t hard and never makes you question your self-worth. Sometimes people need time to grow, but in the right relationship, the individuals compliment each other. However, people rarely change, but rather they grow. 
  2. Minimize the drinking and drug use. In the moment, that bottle of wine, or the feeling of being high seems like it can wash away all the sadness. It might mean you can drink socially with your friends, and for awhile you don’t feel so alone. The alcohol and drugs give you the fix you need to feel better, however, the sun continues to rise, and all those sad feelings flood back in the next day. Taking the time to really face your insecurities and issues head-on will only make you stronger in the long run. Just as previously stated, being self-aware is the mending piece of a broken heart. If you can recognize the toxicity that was in your past relationship, you can only grow more strength in obtaining the right traits in your next relationship. Being present, having mindfulness is not something found in alcohol and drugs. Implementing a healthy lifestyle contributes to finding happiness again.
  3. Try new things and high focused activities. You’re single! This is the time to do all the things you wanted to do without the input of anyone else. Many people try cooking complex meals or begin new workout plans. Doing activities that require regimen and discipline will make the heartbreak seem less lonely. Being single is beautiful and a time where you get to work on bettering yourself to your fullest potential. Try getting in touch with your sexuality by joining a dance class, or shopping for a new wardrobe. Finding new things you like as an individual will only make you more independent and able to be happy on your own. Being single isn’t as scary as people think, I promise. 
  4. Write your feelings. Writing can be powerful and a great coping mechanism. Bullet journaling your feelings can help you be more aware of what triggers your sadness, anger, or loneliness. Journaling each day can also help you set goals of feeling happy again and you can develop an action plan on how to obtain those positive feelings once again. Writing helps you be in touch with your deepest thoughts, which allows you to grow and recognize what is best for you. There is no noise of others telling you what to do, and how to heal. It is all at your own pace. Remember, there’s no time limit on how long it takes to heal from a broken heart.
  5. Travel to new places. Pick a place. Pick five. Gather your savings and drop all the excuses you have and go somewhere that your ex-significant other can’t touch. The world is big, and there are thousands of places to discover. Traveling can open your eyes to all new kinds of people and experiences that can help you be happy on your own. Capture the moments that make you happy. Bring a camera and snap photos of all the things that make you smile so you can carry them home and look at when you are feeling sad. Different cultures, cities, and people all have a new story, and now, it is time to write your own.

Change happens no matter what. Whether that’s in your career, family, friends, or love life, everyone is growing. The right person will grow along with your side, and yes, the pain when the bond between two loved ones break is almost unbearable. However, as clichè, as it sounds, everything happens for a reason. The strength it takes to mend a heart is a lot, but only makes the next relationship you have stronger, deeper, and better. Maybe you have a broken heart, but it only means you are more open to love now. You will heal. 


  • Devi Jags

    Entrepreneur. Writer. Activist.

    Sambar Kitchen

    Devi Jags is a rising Entrepreneur, Writer, and Activist. Her work can be seen through her endeavors such as Sambar Kitchen, The Sparkle Bracelet, and much more. To join her journey, follow her work @devijags or