When challenges come my way, whether it’s a heated disagreement with a friend, family member, or boss/coworker, a tough decision I have to make regarding a job, relationship, or health matter, or whatever question I need to be answered, I have a particular process that brings me clarity so I can hear my inner voice. You may also call it intuition! It’s that still, unmistakable voice that provides the best answers to the questions I have in my life! 

Repeatedly friends and clients ask me, “How can I hear and be sure that’s my inner voice?” So, I decided to write about my process, which has helped me learn about discernment as well.

Let’s start from the beginning. What’s the inner voice?

The inner voice is the authentic self! This is the place where we access the intuition that helps us define and know the difference between all the “other” voices we can hear inside our head. Those voices are usually the ego talking, often louder and with varying opinions. The ego is concerned about its patterns such as control, comfort, security, over-responsibility, recognition, approval, and self-importance. It narrates one’s thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

The authentic self or inner voice is a higher level of consciousness that resides BEYOND the mind and the emotions. You recognize its presence by qualities such as acceptance, compassion, joy, peace, enthusiasm, forgiveness, gratitude, and unconditional loving. When you experience these positive attributes is when you’ll know you’re listening to your inner voice.

This extraordinary level of consciousness is already residing within you as a faculty of your authentic self! How genius is that? Listening to this distinct voice within is what inspires and guides us.

After you have tapped into this awareness, ask yourself these questions, “What is the voice saying? What words is it using? How do you feel listening to it?” And, then, “Are you feeling anxious, restless, judgmental, upset, confused, fearful, or even stupid? Or perhaps unworthy or unlovable? 

If the answer is “yes” to any of those questions that’s not the inner voice talking! That’s the ego or critical voice demanding to be heard because it may be experiencing mental or emotional disturbances, and the mind may be experiencing confusion, dilemma, or judgment. When emotions of pain, hurt, anger, irritation, frustration, or fear erupt, it’s difficult to shift from a state of negativity to one of positivity. 

So, what do we do next? How do we calm all these different aspects of ourselves so we can actually hear our true inner voice?

I’ve created five steps for you that outline what I do to get connected to my inner voice.

  1. First, I create a sacred space. This is a particular spot in my home where I go when I need to hear my inner voice. It’s a place of safety, and where I won’t be disturbed. I light candles next to me and place my favorite stones or minerals, and any type of token that has significant meaning near. It’s a place where positive energy resides.
  2. Then, I get quiet. I turn off any distractions such as the television, radio, computer, or cell phone. I create SILENCE, the absence of any sound or noise. I design an outer environment where silence provides an opportunity to go deeper inside so I can hear my inner voice. 
  3. And, I pray. I connect to my Higher Power (God), and ask for strength, direction, and support. I plug-in to a Higher Consciousness. That may be something different for you, but it is wherever you find a source of faith in something or someone greater than yourself. I connect to my spiritual side to go within my soul to seek refuge. I set an intention to communicate with God and myself. 
  4. I ask for help. When I need an answer to a problem or need to make a decision is when I absolutely must hear my inner voice. I try to get into a neutral position, and keep an open heart and mind, so I have no attachments. I also add the phrase, “May this answer or action be “In the Highest Good of all.”” I want the best action for all involved!  
  5. And finally, I meditate and breathe!  My goal is to clear my mind and emotions and connect to my inner voice. I use a variety of breathing exercises as well. I particularly like the Buddha Belly Breathing exercise. You sit in a chair with your spine elongated, tail bone slightly tucked under, and the sense of a string coming out of the top of your head. Place your feet flat on the floor hip-width apart with your toes pointing straight ahead. Rest your hands in your lap. Bring your awareness to your breath and breathe fully into your lower abdomen. Breathe in with your nose and exhale through your mouth. Expand your breath evenly from the core of your stomach into all directions moving it to the front, back up, and down the entire length of your body. Breathe naturally and allow your body to relax. Anytime you lose your focus, just bring your attention back to the breath. 

Calming our minds and emotions so we can “hear ourselves think” is an old expression that we our parents may have reminded us of when we were kids.  And, it is true! This process requires stillness, quiet, and listening, which becomes an active practice for whenever you need to hear your inner voice. 

So, remember, you know your inner voice is speaking because it’s a loving voice; there are no judgments. No negativity! Its counsel is positive. Think of your inner voice as your soul’s voice. It always wants the best for you!

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  • Pirie Jones Grossman

    Executive Life Coach, M.A. Spiritual Psychology

    Pirie is a TedX speaker, author, and a Soul-Centered Life Coach. With over 20 years in front of the camera, Pirie Grossman understands the power of storytelling. After success in commercials and acting. Pirie spent 10 years reporting for E! Entertainment Television, Entertainment Tonight, also hosted ABC’s “Every Woman." Pirie’s work off-camera capitalizes on her strength, producing, bringing people together for unique experiences. Pirie produced a Children’s Day of Compassion during the Dalai Lama’s visit in Sun Valley, ID in 2005. 10,000 children attended, sharing ideas about compassion with His Holiness. From 2006-2009, Pirie Co-chaired the Special Olympics World Winter Games, in Idaho, welcoming 3,000 athletes from over 150 countries. Pirie founded Destiny Productions to create Wellness Festivals and is an Advisory Board member of the Sun Valley Wellness Board. In February 2017, Pirie produced, “Love is Louder," a Brain Health Summit, bringing in Kevin Hines, noted suicide survivor to Sun Valley who spoke to school kids about suicide. Sun Valley is in the top 5% highest suicide rate per capita in the Northwest, prompting a community initiative with St. Luke’s and other stakeholders, to begin healing. Pirie lives in Sun Valley with her two children, serves on the Board of Community School. She has her Master’s in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica and is a Soul-Centered Life Coach.