I remember the first time I ever got rejected in life. I was on a school trip in Ottawa and they took us to this dance. I remember this kid named Brandon was looking cute that day and I wanted to dance with him. So my friend went over to ask for me and to my surprise, he flat out said no. I’m laughing as I write this, just so you know. It’s funny now but in that moment, I remember feeling very insecure and sad. I had a million questions running through my mind asking all sorts of why’s and how’s. You’re probably wondering why I’m sharing this story and what this has to do with anything. Well, it does. It’s the root to how I dealt with rejections every time after that.
Throughout my teachings, you constantly hear me say how important it is to heal what you go through but it’s also important to heal what you came from.
See, I was partially spoiled growing up. Whatever food, toy, clothing, etc., I wanted, I got. Whatever boy I wanted, even as a child, didn’t take much convincing to be mine. So, imagine the detrimental feeling when a boy I wanted to dance with, hit me with a direct decline. I was hurt. I wasn’t feeling spoiled in that moment. But what’s more important is how life went on after that.
After he rejected me, one of my best friends, Teshenna, noticed that I wasn’t feeling great about being rejected. She grabbed me by the arms and said, “Brooke! Snap out of it. Brandon is a dumby. Who wouldn’t want to be with you!? You’re beautiful, kind, and my best friend.” She filled me with so much joy and confidence that it shifted the rest of night and we ended up having a lot of fun. I remember flipping my hair and agreeing with her every word. Here’s the thing, if it wasn’t for Teshenna, I probably would’ve allowed that moment to be the root of rejection trauma. That’s why, today, I have no fear or issues with being rejected. It’s what comes with the journey. It’s apart of life! I’ve had such a strong backbone since then that no rejection has ever made me feel less than or unworthy because her words, “Who wouldn’t want to be with you?” stuck with me forever—especially as an Entrepreneur. The root to how I deal with rejections started off negative but shifted to a positive. Now, my response to rejection is generally positive because I truly believe, rejection is just a redirection and whatever is for you will not pass you.
Therefore, before trying to overcome and/or deal with rejections, self-reflect about your journey first. Dig deep to see what your journey has been like each time you experienced rejection.
Take time to learn the root of your deepest feelings, fears, and doubts.
Ask yourself:
- Where do they (my fears, doubts, and feelings of rejection) come from?
- What happened in my past that made me fear rejection?
- What experience made me feel unworthy when I get rejected?
- What are my internal beliefs about rejection?
- What are my immediate reactions when I get rejected?
- How do I respond to rejection?
- Who rejected me in the past that I need to forgive?
- When did I begin to fear rejection?
This is the Acknowledgement phase of your journey. Self-reflecting is key to self-love, healing, and shifting into the person you want to be. You need to get to the root of the problems in order to internally and externally succeed. Once you learn how to overcome rejection, you’ll be more resilient, calmer, and faithful when dealing with experiences of getting refused in your personal and professional life.
Ask yourself these questions to gain clarity and rebuild your confidence. The more clear you are about yourself, the more self-aware you are, and self-awareness is a key role when overcoming and letting go of your fears.