How can mental illness affect one’s married life? How can two of you deal with the psychological pressure? How can you support your partner to overcome the mental issues? How? These are the few questions which are whirlwind in my mind. I kept Google it, but could not find the right supportive answer. I talk to my friends and family to help me with this, but the more I try, the more he walks far from me.
It affects our sex-life, broke us financially and stress; anxiety becomes our new family members. In my ten years of marriage, I never thought, my wedding would take this sharp turn. But, I could not let the mental issues destroy my happy marriage life. In spite of some apparent challenges, yes, there are few beautiful ways with you can support your partner in dealing with mental sickness.
“Don’t give me advice on my illness, don’t tell me I need to exercise, don’t suggest I use herbal remedies, don’t tell me I take too many meds, don’t tell me that it could be worse, don’t compare me to someone else.”
Understand that it’s not their fault:
You don’t know what you’re the partner is facing, maybe they are sad, angry and at the same time happy. It depends on you how you deal with the situation to make them feel light. Remember that you are dealing with the symptoms of illness, which are as real as the medical conditions of high/low blood pressure or diabetes. Any negative impact can worsen the situation so deal with it happily.
Pamper them with gifts, show them love and affection:
You are married to that person, so it’s okay if they are showing the anger. Deep down they are also fighting with themselves, so it’s on you. Plan a surprise date night, take them out for dinner, and surprise them with beautiful bouquets and gifts.
Behaviour change is the part of the mental illness, so instead of running, stand still with your partner.
According to Healthy Place “Please don’t judge people. You don’t know what it looks someone to get out of bed, look and feel presentable as possible and face the day. You never truly know the daily struggles of others.”
A depressed person feels like that are somewhere in the dark hole:
Well, you don’t have to jump in the dark tunnel to save your partner, you can protect them by staying outside the hole also. Be your partner safeguard, talk to them; might be understanding them at this point might be difficult, but don’t let them alone. If money is their issue or they are not able to pay the residential mortgage for the new home, so don’t let your emotions dictate them.
Communication is the key to success:
Motivate your partner to talk even in the depressive phase, cheer them up with doing little sweet things like playing the game, going for a walk, travel to a new country and meeting new friends. Express what you felt inside, you both find peace and love in the air.
Learn yourself about illness:
Educate yourself about illness, feel what your partner is going through and how you can support them. The more you learn about mental illness, the more supportive and compassionate you will become for your partner.
Give your partner freedom to share their thoughts:
Let your partner speak, make them comfortable to share their thoughts. Don’t judge the things on the very first way.
I know dealing with an ill person is not easy, but with emotions and giving them the freedom to talk we can make them stronger.
At last, ask yourself what the cause of your partner mental illness is, is that your behaviours or something else? Happy couples never let their spouse feel bad or drown them inside the black hole, they support each other and work together. Both the partners are somewhere responsible for the cause of mental illness, so, don’t let the illness destroy your relationship. Consult a doctor and be there for each other.