We have all experienced jealousy in our lives at one point or another. Whether it’s between friends, family, romantic partners, or coworkers, we have all had the moment where our body tenses and our heart beats faster in reaction to news or words we’ve just heard.

What’s important is not the fact that we feel jealous, but to understand why that feeling happened and turn it into an opportunity for growth. In that sense, jealousy is a gift. It’s a way for the universe to bring to light a desire or goal that may have been hidden just beneath the surface.

When you feel jealous, take the steps to develop the gift:

  • Gratitude: Gratitude represents the ability to appreciate what you currently have in your life. By taking a moment to step out of the situation and be grateful for what you do have (instead of focusing on what others have) it brings clarity to the situation. Instead of thinking “why them and not me?” remind yourself of everything good that you do have at that moment, including the freedom and opportunity to achieve what others have.
  • Identify the trigger: Now that you’ve taken a step back from the situation, take a moment to replay the conversation and get to the root of why you felt jealous. What was the trigger? Does someone have something that you want, or perhaps didn’t know you wanted?
  • Forgiveness: Over time jealousy can build to anger or resentment which can be harmful to living a happy life. To develop your gift, you must forgive others and also forgive yourself. Do not judge yourself for feeling jealous, rather recognize the feeling and grow from it.
  • Take Action: Once you’ve taken a step back, identified the trigger, and forgiven yourself and others for any held resentment, it’s time to take action! Whether you want to travel, build a successful company, or take a step forward in your relationship, whatever the GIFT of jealousy has uncovered for you, take your first steps of reaching that goal.

Jealousy is often born out of focusing on someone else’s successes instead of our own. The quicker we can identify the feeling, bring it back to a place of gratitude, find the trigger, forgive ourselves and others and take action on what the gift of jealousy has uncovered, the happier we’ll be.

Originally published at thegreatnessfoundation.com on November 23, 2016.

Originally published at medium.com