Is there something in your life that you really, really want, or really want to change, but no matter what you do it just doesn’t happen? It may be something physical like a new car or a new house, or something active like a new job or a new body shape. But it may also be something as intangible as desperately wanting to feel differently about something – to stop feeling heartbroken or to stop being jealous or to stop worrying. Whatever it is you know you want it, you try to believe that you deserve it, you even take steps towards achieving it but it remains illusive…

You want it BAD

The problem with wanting something really badly is that just that – we want it BADly. In other words, the way that you want it is not ‘good’, and is not being activated in a space of positive, abundant energy. The problem with wanting something really badly is that we spend a lot of time and emotional energy on the fact that we DON’T have it. The message that the Universe gets is that you don’t have it and that is what is delivered right back to you, more of not having it. What we think is what we get.

This may sound like a whole lot of manifestation woo woo but in fact it is physics. No one can put it any clearer than the great Albert Einstein: “Everything is energy, and that is all there is to it. Match the frequency of what you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy, this is physics.”

How do you get what you want?

What I mainly wanted to talk about today, from a wellbeing perspective, is when you really, really want to FEEL differently about something. I work with many people who are in this situation. They would very much like to stop feeling sad about a loss and anxious about the future, they would love to be able to stop getting so frustrated with their child, they would like to feel grounded and balanced instead of feeling like one of those wind socks on a gusty day! Just as with wanting something physical, when you want to change how you feel, the best thing to do is to stop thinking about what you haven’t got.

If you are thinking “I am so sad” then that is what the Universe delivers to you – more sadness. If you are thinking “I wish I didn’t feel angry” then more opportunities to feel angry just seem to crop up. To break this cycle of negative energy, you need to reverse your thoughts and feelings.

Flip that feeling – over easy!

Every time you hear yourself in one of these negative thought patterns – I wish, I don’t, if only – you need to flip it over to the positive. Because, remember our physics, energy cannot be destroyed, it can only be changed into a different form. Start by flipping your thoughts when you catch yourself being negative. The key here is Gratitude. Instead of focusing endlessly on what you don’t have, start by being grateful for what you do have, even if it is something very small like a delicious cup of chai or the warm, sunny weather. This should be the easy part. If you find this difficult then you can take comfort in the fact that just by wondering what you do have to be grateful for, your brain will begin to get the same benefits as it does when you are able to express specific gratitude. (As an aside I am grateful for the fact that the number of scientific studies into gratitude is growing, and these studies show things like improved happiness levels and reduced depression in those who do express gratitude).

The next step is more difficult for some people, and involves Mindfulness. Instead of always living in the future – your I’ll be happy when – start living in the here and now. Feel and think like you already have that thing that you really want. The key here, and the thing that can make this a little tricky, is that you do need to flip your feeling and not just your thoughts. You need to actually start to feel that positive emotion that you want to feel. How do you do this? Well back to Einstein again: “Imagination is everything. It’s the preview of life’s coming attractions.” So in order to bring what you want into your life, imagine you already have it and dive into that feeling. Creatively visualize, with feeling!

Still not getting what you want?

You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need. (The Rolling Stones)

Ok, so sometimes, we don’t get what we think we want because on a sub-conscious or spiritual level, our higher self knows that thing is not what we actually need to fulfill our life’s purpose. We have another path to follow. I’m sure that you can think of many examples from your life where something you thought you wanted hasn’t worked out, only to have a better thing land in your lap! That will keep happening!

Keep practising gratitude

Even when you don’t seem to be getting what you want make gratitude a part of your daily routine, just like brushing your teeth! It’s a great way to start or end your day. And just like anything else it is a practice, so you need to practise it! Don’t worry if it is difficult at first – you will get better at it. Give yourself permission to suck – just like you wouldn’t expect yourself to be able to stand up on a surf board when you catch your first wave, you can’t expect to be a gratitude expert immediately!

How can Reiki help?

Because Reiki works on all energetic levels of the body – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual – it can be very beneficial for helping you to change negative into positive energy, thereby increasing positive feelings and assisting you in bringing what you want into your life. 

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