“Leap and the net will appear.” ~John Burroughs

As an adult with trauma, I lost the ability to soar high above the grounding earthly burdens of responsibility until one day I just decided to let my mind aimlessly wander in the clouds. Before I knew it, I was flying. I was regressing. I was floating weightless under the big blue sky while dancing on puffs of enlightenment. With each breath in I became weightless and with each breath out I drifted higher.

The Power of Innocence

Innocent children at play embrace vulnerability and claim their power by boldly shouting “I can fly!” With fully activated Super Powers, they leap off furniture, jet away from siblings, and create never-ending scenarios of how their strength has saved the world from mortal doom and destruction. No adult, in their right mind, would dare to burst the bubble of invincibility while these Galactic Masters are in the midst of such a stellar victory over the evil doers of their imaginative world.

Needless to say, the adults in my childhood did burst my bubble of invincibility, but with the power of flight, I have re-claimed my Divine Feminine Super Powers! With a rush of courage, I valiantly stretched my wings, trusted in what I could not see, and leapt off the cliff of self-sabotage and self-doubt. I felt free as the air rushed under, and through, my white spacious wings. I gently tumbled into the soft net of letting go. It was there, in the space of uncertainty, that I completely accepted what it felt like to be free in flight.

There are two parts to the totality me while flying:

Part of me-is quirky, random, skittish, chronically over-thinks almost everything, entertains anger, gives fear to much space, and drowns in impatience. I also have my very own kaleidoscope of character defects. I have equal parts of woman and girl competing for the same earthly body. Mix in the inner struggles of anxiety and a complex case of PTSD and you have a mere mortal terrified to leap from the branches of confining safety.

The other part of me-is the Immortal Winged Goddess that has the capabilities to fearlessly leap high and far into distant galaxies. In this space, I have learned how to be empathetic, generous, passionate, joyful, courageous, honest, vulnerable, creative, capable, bold, and flexible to the many different aspects of life and what roles they play with the flight patterns of my air space.

When I learned to blend both parts of myself in tandem, I could soar higher with love, tolerance, acceptance and patience. I learned it was the duality that made me whole while in flight. Perhaps I really can fly after all? Perhaps I can soar beyond the boundaries put on me as a child and alter the reality of my adult opportunities?

Leaping into the Future

Many leaps of faith have been taken, and will need to be taken over and over again, to catapult my spirit into the heart of my own desire while allowing my shadow self to remain below me as I fly. When I feel uncertain, timid or overly fearful of where I may land, I must remember that imagination and visualization are more important than rigidly staying the course to a known destination.

“Our whole spiritual transformation brings us to the point where we realize that in our own being, we are enough.” ~ Ram Dass

Originally published at www.rebeccaledwards.com.

Originally published at medium.com


  • Rebecca L. Edwards

    A sober author and passionate advocate dedicated to helping teens move beyond the stigma and shame of childhood sexual abuse so that they may find their purpose in healing and recovery.

    Learning how to THRIVE and move beyond life's most difficult challenges with childhood sexual trauma and addiction is incredibly powerful. My new book The NETT, New Evolution in Thinking for Teens, is rooted in transformational awareness that only comes through mastering and now sharing my lived experiences to help those who may still be suffering in silence. "Far and away the best prize life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work that is worth doing." ~Theodore Roosevelt