We continually expect people to do things the same way that we would, and with the same level of intensity and passion. We also expect them to achieve the same results that we would have; had we done them ourselves.

The end result is usually one of disappointment and frustration for both parties.

The truth is, it is unrealistic to expect that everyone is going to do things the same way that you would do them.

We are all different and unique. Our experiences and education, along with our training, are all going to be at different levels. 

Their level of passion depends on many factors, including their individual beliefs, desires, and personal histories.

In our professional lives as well as our personal lives, we face these challenges on a regular basis. When someone does not meet the desired expectations, most people choose to place the blame and responsibility on the other person.

This, however, does not remedy the situation. On the contrary, it only fuels the fire. 

When someone does not meet your expectations, I would suggest you stop and ask yourself this simple question. Do you really believe it was their intention to let you down? In almost every instance, the answer to this question would be, “No“.

So why didn’t they do it the way we expected them too? There could be many different reasons.

What is important is that you recognize that it wasn’t because they intended to upset you. Once you fully understand that, you can begin to formulate a new strategy that will get you the desired outcome.

Remember that the number one motivator of peak performance is a clearly defined purpose (goals and objectives).

We also need to make sure they:

  • Understand the goals/objectives
  • Know “how” to achieve those objectives (the activities/actions)
  • Know “why” what they are doing matters
  • Create a “scorecard” to measure the execution

Clarity is the Key

Action steps…

  • Accept people, including yourself, for who they are and what they are capable of
  • Encourage them to do more, to learn, to grow
  • Let them know you believe in them
  • Celebrate the differences and identify their strengths
  • Make sure you have the right person for the right task
  • Allow them to grow and improve at a reasonable pace
  • Make sure your objectives are clearly defined and specific… Clarity of purpose comes from great communication
  • Be patient
  • Be tolerant
  • Be understanding
  • Be accepting
  • Be firm, but fair… When a person does not perform at a level that they are capable of; find out why, and let them know they are better than that. Encourage them to take ownership for their action
  • Catch others doing things right… Praise them for it
  • Inspect what you expect

Remember… Every day is a gift, and the quality of your life is your gift to yourself.


  • Barry Gottlieb

    Author - Speaker - Success Mentor - Trusted Advisor

    Barry is sought after by organizations of all sizes to assist them in the following areas: *Leadership - *Strategy - *Execution - *Company Culture - *Time Management - *Emotional Intelligence. As the Founder and President of Coaching the Winner's Edge, Barry has built a successful practice offering counsel and guidance to both private individuals and corporations. In addition, Barry is a successful author and speaker. His books are: "TGIT-Thank God It’s Today". - "Every Day Is A Gift". - "Brilliant on the Basics...a Playbook for Business Leaders". Barry started out his career as an educator... First a school teacher and  Principal; and then as an instructor at Santa Fe Community College, and the University of Florida. During his time at the university, Barry experienced a life altering challenge. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was given just 3 to 6 months to live. His story of recovery and the paradigm shift that it created in his life was the inspiration for his first book, "TGIT - Thank God It’s Today". Shortly thereafter, Barry decided to make a career and life style change and left teaching to enter the world of business. This he says, “Is where my real education began.” He and his partners built a very successful $75 million international company from the ground up, that they later sold for $55M. Barry shares the the wisdom and insights of building a very successful company... and culture, in his latest book: "Brilliant On the Basics... A Playbook for Business Leaders". Barry's Mission: To inspire and empower others to reach their full potential.